Sandy Petersen's Cthulhu Mythos - The Big Sleep 22

[00:00:07] Bancors Brothel presents The Big Sleep Umythos 5e Adventure.

[00:01:57] Rage. Rage. Rage again. More Rage. Rage, Rage against the Frog Monster. I don't care if it can't kill it, I'm gonna give it a good shot.

[00:02:12] Uh, first of all, roll me Wisdom Saves, if you are looking back at this creature.

[00:02:17] Danger Sense?

[00:02:19] Uh, no, this is for Dread, bud.

[00:02:22] Nope, I sense the danger, I see it. Not afraid.

[00:02:27] 20.

[00:02:30] 15.

[00:02:31] 22.

[00:02:36] Cody?

[00:02:37] I'm not on my character sheet anymore.

[00:02:40] I think it's like a 16 or 17, but I assume it's gonna be close enough if you need the exact number, so...

[00:02:45] That would be helpful.

[00:02:46] Oh, I gotta pull up my character sheet.

[00:02:49] Uh, what'd you want, Wisdom?

[00:02:52] 16.

[00:02:53] The 15 and the 16 both take two levels of Dread.

[00:02:57] Oof!

[00:03:00] Two levels of Dread is for chumps.

[00:03:02] Hmm?

[00:03:03] Um, I don't think that puts you in any negative yet, or any detrimental...

[00:03:08] Oh.

[00:03:09] I have two currently.

[00:03:10] I think it has to be three or four to get you there.

[00:03:13] Your game.

[00:03:14] You tell me.

[00:03:16] Um...

[00:03:17] But it's not good.

[00:03:18] You are very afraid of this thing.

[00:03:21] Um, you don't...

[00:03:24] Essentially, you don't wanna get near it.

[00:03:28] Um, as it continues to grab and swallow individuals, uh, your instinct is to run.

[00:03:36] Yeah, we have disadvantage on ability checks.

[00:03:39] Yeah, your instinct at this point is to run.

[00:03:43] Fuck it!

[00:03:44] Bye!

[00:03:46] Um...

[00:03:48] Um...

[00:03:48] From where you are...

[00:03:50] Within the city...

[00:03:52] Just seems...

[00:03:54] There are two options.

[00:03:55] Unnecessarily reckless.

[00:03:58] Uh, you can either go through Hightown or you can go through Old Town.

[00:04:03] To get where?

[00:04:05] Those are your two exits.

[00:04:06] Oh, just to get out of the city?

[00:04:08] To get out of the city.

[00:04:09] As you look around, you see...

[00:04:12] Like waves.

[00:04:14] Literally like waves.

[00:04:17] Creatures that you've never seen before in your life.

[00:04:20] Flooding the city and taking down civilians.

[00:04:25] As if it were a cloud of...

[00:04:28] Fuck all.

[00:04:31] Oh, this is real bad, guys.

[00:04:35] Uh, what's Old Town?

[00:04:39] Um...

[00:04:40] They're just...

[00:04:40] It's two areas of the city.

[00:04:42] Hightown is more noble.

[00:04:45] Old Town is where our base was, I think.

[00:04:47] Okay.

[00:04:48] We should've opened that door.

[00:04:51] What door?

[00:04:52] The one downstairs that we never could open because the arcanist was a drunk.

[00:04:56] Oh, yeah.

[00:04:57] Yeah, it would've been nice.

[00:04:58] Yeah, I'll tell you about that later.

[00:04:59] Um...

[00:04:59] Oh, yeah, I totally forgot about that.

[00:05:02] It's not good.

[00:05:04] Let's see.

[00:05:04] Uh, I say we go through Hightown.

[00:05:09] Oh, we have to choose.

[00:05:10] Yeah, either Old Town or Hightown.

[00:05:12] Old Town has a bunch of addicts.

[00:05:18] I mean, Hightown might too, I don't know.

[00:05:20] Maybe I'm being presumptive.

[00:05:22] Um, and as you look around, you see...

[00:05:25] So many people in green robes.

[00:05:27] Uh-oh.

[00:05:29] This king really sucked as a leader.

[00:05:31] Awful.

[00:05:33] They appear to be, um, almost in single file going in a few, a couple different directions.

[00:05:40] One towards Hightown, one towards Old Town.

[00:05:45] Chanting.

[00:05:48] Pretty calmly, they're pretty calmly walking around as the rest of the city is being devoured.

[00:05:55] Which town has wider streets?

[00:05:58] I mean, the street width isn't much of a difference.

[00:06:00] It's a difference between...

[00:06:02] It could just start killing them.

[00:06:03] A cleaner side of town or a shittier side of town.

[00:06:06] I was just thinking less obstacles.

[00:06:08] If we're gonna be running.

[00:06:10] I will grab...

[00:06:11] The city itself, not only the palace, but the city itself is beginning to crumble.

[00:06:15] I will grab one of the nearest green cultists.

[00:06:18] Green robed cultists.

[00:06:20] Okay.

[00:06:21] And lift them up.

[00:06:22] Sure.

[00:06:23] Shaking them.

[00:06:24] Say,

[00:06:25] What have you done?

[00:06:28] Um, and they...

[00:06:31] They sort of, uh, widen their arms as if in, I guess for people at home, like a crucifix position.

[00:06:38] As if they're just wide out.

[00:06:40] Um, uh, continually, uh, what is their chant?

[00:06:49] Yesu domine.

[00:06:52] It's, I believe it's Ia Sathagwa.

[00:06:56] Zimulzatha.

[00:06:58] Zipizappa.

[00:07:00] Sathagwa has come.

[00:07:02] We will all sleep peacefully as that person shouts.

[00:07:06] It does not seem to give a fuck that you're holding them.

[00:07:10] And just hurl them into a brick wall.

[00:07:12] Sure.

[00:07:12] They're probably knocked out, maybe dead, and you're not sure.

[00:07:15] Is there a gate of slumber nearby?

[00:07:17] No.

[00:07:20] Never lets there be anything fun.

[00:07:24] There's no way to get at the dreamlands from here, bud.

[00:07:27] I mean, there's always a 20% chance there is one.

[00:07:30] But it's ultimately your call.

[00:07:32] Yeah, it's not in the city.

[00:07:33] Okay.

[00:07:37] Uh, the city is falling apart.

[00:07:39] Piece by piece.

[00:07:40] Row by row.

[00:07:40] Street by street.

[00:07:43] If you want to go to Hightown, that's fine.

[00:07:44] If you want to go to Old Town, that's fine.

[00:07:45] Just let me know which way you're going.

[00:07:47] I'm going to Hightown.

[00:07:48] Okay.

[00:07:48] So you meet up with the ghoul who went out a different exit.

[00:07:52] Um, you go into Hightown.

[00:07:54] Uh, you see wealthy families piling their possessions onto, um, onto overburdened carts.

[00:08:02] Um, and then suddenly a, uh, a formless spawn comes out of nowhere and chases them off.

[00:08:11] Uh, green robe chambermaids hack a lady into pieces on a street, on the street.

[00:08:17] Um, you see a trembling merchant who offers a purse of gold and, uh, uh, packs of who knows what, um, to individuals in green robes who scoff, knock it to the ground and stabbed into death.

[00:08:32] Uh, I mean, these are the things you're seeing.

[00:08:37] You're just seeing people in green robes either walking or just somewhat nonchalantly killing people as they go.

[00:08:44] They can, they give no fucks.

[00:08:46] Continuing?

[00:08:47] Mm-hmm.

[00:08:48] Walking, doing anything?

[00:08:50] I'm just getting out of the city.

[00:08:53] Yeah, trying to murder cultists as I go though.

[00:08:56] I mean, you can grab a few as, you can grab one as you go and kill them.

[00:09:00] Like, they may put up a fight, but they're basically citizens.

[00:09:04] I mean, they don't have a lot of hit points and they don't have a lot of fight in them.

[00:09:07] Yeah, but that's one less cultist.

[00:09:10] Sure.

[00:09:11] Um, I mean, you can, you can kill enough to gather enough robes if that's an idea.

[00:09:21] Do you think we could take their silver chains?

[00:09:23] Is that deal still?

[00:09:26] I haven't seen the arbiter since the fight.

[00:09:28] Uh-oh.

[00:09:28] She gone.

[00:09:30] You know, we also lose access to that book too, I imagine, if the city falls.

[00:09:36] Yeah.

[00:09:36] I do feel like we should probably get out of the city and see what happens.

[00:09:40] Yeah.

[00:09:41] Um...

[00:09:41] I don't think we can prevent it at this point.

[00:09:45] Lucas has overpowered us, but not by that much.

[00:09:48] As the city burns behind you, its grand palaces and rat-infested slums were reduced to rubble.

[00:09:59] Sothogwa, the ravenous abomination from the cathonic depths, now drowses amidst the chaos, sated by its gruesome meal and looking somehow even larger than when it first emerged.

[00:10:15] But his teeming minions and formless spawns spread out from the city like a flood, closing off our routes of escape all but one.

[00:10:26] The green-robed cultists continue their inexorable march out of the ruined city, glassy-eyed and oblivious to its destruction around them.

[00:10:37] The column of blasphemous pilgrims files wordlessly, relentlessly toward the black boughs of the sunless forest.

[00:10:50] This is what you see.

[00:10:53] Not a fan.

[00:10:54] It's the only exit out of the city.

[00:11:01] You can either follow them as is or you can try to hide amongst them with cloaks or something.

[00:11:09] Wait, what are you... I'm confused.

[00:11:11] You can pretend to be cultists to get out safer or you can try to fight them as you go.

[00:11:15] There are hundreds of these motherfuckers.

[00:11:18] We can't just pick a direction and run in a direction that they're not?

[00:11:21] Everything is either in ruins or blocked off. This is the only exit.

[00:11:28] All right, so which railroaded path would you guys like to take?

[00:11:32] I'll put on a tiny robe because it'd be cute.

[00:11:35] Did you say, what am I going to do, put on four robes to look appropriate?

[00:11:41] You can find a thematically appropriately sized robe.

[00:11:47] Just continue murdering people, but...

[00:11:49] Grab a tarp.

[00:11:55] Just...

[00:11:56] I mean, are you going to follow them at a distance or are you going to try to become them and hide within them?

[00:12:03] Probably follow at a distance.

[00:12:05] Yeah, definitely not pretending to be them.

[00:12:08] Okay.

[00:12:08] Take it.

[00:12:08] I'm very, very mad.

[00:12:10] That's fine.

[00:12:12] That's fine.

[00:12:12] You can follow them at a distance.

[00:12:14] They're kind of in groups of roughly 40 to 50 apiece.

[00:12:19] I mean, but they are seemingly in a mostly single file line wandering towards the...

[00:12:29] I believe it's the southeast.

[00:12:30] Is it towards the Iglafen Mountains?

[00:12:34] Yeah, well, so the Iglafen is direct east.

[00:12:39] This is more east-southeast toward the Vormittenhorn.

[00:12:45] What's that?

[00:12:46] It's part of the Iglafen Mountains, but it is sort of where the Iglafen branches.

[00:12:54] It branches east and south.

[00:12:58] That is the direction you are heading through the Sunless Forest.

[00:13:05] Notably named because of the density itself, whether it's sunlight or moonlight, it is very dark and hard to see through here.

[00:13:12] If you don't have any dark vision or, you know, a flame of some kind to see.

[00:13:18] With a big enough flame, it won't be the Sunless Forest.

[00:13:20] Dense enough and dark enough, you cannot, you know, it's harsh.

[00:13:24] I don't know if you've ever seen California before, but with enough flame.

[00:13:29] So as you all head out, the screams and the cries of innocence behind you begin to fade,

[00:13:41] and you may all find a place to take camp and level up.

[00:13:48] Lucas, you're a short motherfucker and nobody likes you.

[00:13:52] Lucas is all true.

[00:13:54] Loot that body.

[00:13:56] It's an earworm.

[00:13:57] So that kid's body is just laying on the ground?

[00:14:01] You all escaped the city, found a bit of a nook in the woods, the Sunless Forest, where you were headed,

[00:14:08] following a line of not only cloaked individuals but almost entirely cloaked individuals heading into the woods.

[00:14:15] Whoa, whoa, whoa.

[00:14:16] Hold on.

[00:14:17] So they brought this god in to destroy things and they're not going to Jonestown themselves?

[00:14:22] Some of them did.

[00:14:23] Lack of commitment.

[00:14:25] Some of them did.

[00:14:25] To the cause.

[00:14:26] The intent is to sleep, not to die, if you recall their agenda.

[00:14:30] What's the difference?

[00:14:31] It's the long sleep.

[00:14:33] Apparently there's a very big difference.

[00:14:34] The big sleep.

[00:14:34] What's the big sleep?

[00:14:35] Yeah.

[00:14:36] Okay.

[00:14:36] It's the big sleep.

[00:14:38] Le petit mort.

[00:14:39] That doesn't mean the big death.

[00:14:42] So you're saying it's the little death?

[00:14:43] Le petit mort?

[00:14:45] Maybe.

[00:14:46] Okay.

[00:14:47] Whatever gets you off, Lucas.

[00:14:49] You guys all leveled up.

[00:14:51] I know you didn't get much but if you want to go around, you can and say what you picked up.

[00:14:56] I think it's ability scores and some other things.

[00:14:58] Is that about it?

[00:14:59] Yeah.

[00:15:00] I mean...

[00:15:01] He got something.

[00:15:02] I got something.

[00:15:03] I got my third level barbarian.

[00:15:05] Nicely done.

[00:15:06] Yep.

[00:15:07] Useful now.

[00:15:08] Yep.

[00:15:08] Good luck hitting me.

[00:15:09] All right.

[00:15:10] Well, you can hit me.

[00:15:12] Good luck getting damage.

[00:15:13] Good luck doing any significant damage.

[00:15:15] Fair enough.

[00:15:16] I would also like to report I'm at 54 hit points.

[00:15:19] Troy got nothing significant then?

[00:15:23] Nah.

[00:15:23] Bill of the score.

[00:15:24] Flynn, what'd you get?

[00:15:27] Good story, bro.

[00:15:28] Yep.

[00:15:31] Just put in AI.

[00:15:33] I'll put in like a donkey noise or something.

[00:15:36] Yeah.

[00:15:37] Yeah.

[00:15:38] Make it the most mechanically sounding AI ever.

[00:15:41] Yep.

[00:15:42] The Hal voice.

[00:15:43] Pure Hal.

[00:15:44] And you took a feat, correct?

[00:15:46] I took a feat.

[00:15:47] I took Fae Touched, which also gave me a couple of fun spells.

[00:15:52] Nice.

[00:15:53] Misty Step and picked up Hunter's Mark.

[00:15:57] So those will be fun to play with.

[00:15:59] Loot that body.

[00:16:00] You guys wake up.

[00:16:02] Birds chirping.

[00:16:05] Insects buzzing.

[00:16:08] Just after sunrise, probably.

[00:16:11] Nice, good long rest.

[00:16:14] Your cat friend is gone.

[00:16:18] Flynn?

[00:16:19] Do you not want to play with us anymore?

[00:16:24] Tell me you love us, Flynn.

[00:16:27] He's somewhere curled up in a corner dealing with COVID.

[00:16:30] He's a...

[00:16:30] Yeah.

[00:16:31] He's cat cold.

[00:16:33] He's a goddamn Dreamlands cat, Lucas.

[00:16:35] I know you're very concerned, but he just fucked off because that's what happens with

[00:16:38] the Dreamlands.

[00:16:39] Maybe he was chasing that tail from the palace, you know?

[00:16:44] Yes!

[00:16:44] That's the canon.

[00:16:45] Lucas...

[00:16:46] Or Lucas...

[00:16:47] Flynn is having...

[00:16:48] Flynn is having like absolutely feral.

[00:16:52] Feral, nasty, filthy stuff.

[00:16:54] That's what's happening.

[00:16:55] Yeah.

[00:16:56] I agree.

[00:17:01] I would also like to point out that one of our listeners did contact us and say that

[00:17:04] we are not making enough pussy and or vagina jokes with Flynn here.

[00:17:09] Well, now he's not here.

[00:17:10] Can't do it.

[00:17:10] We should...

[00:17:11] 100%.

[00:17:12] And also, we should call it Dungeons and Dagon.

[00:17:15] That would've been smarter.

[00:17:16] Which...

[00:17:17] That's good.

[00:17:17] We fucked up.

[00:17:18] That's a whole other podcast.

[00:17:20] As I pointed out to the listener, like, I like it because it continues to defer to

[00:17:26] the wrong Cthulhu mythos entity, which is really starting to piss Lucas off, so...

[00:17:31] I don't care.

[00:17:32] Just make sure you know what you're up against.

[00:17:34] Bo Krog!

[00:17:35] I definitely don't want to go up against Dagon.

[00:17:36] Completely different stat block.

[00:17:39] Ah...

[00:17:40] Completely different stat block.

[00:17:41] I feel like we would be better off against Dagon than Sothogwa.

[00:17:44] Dagon was fought off by the American Navy in 1920-something, so...

[00:17:50] It can't be done.

[00:17:52] I mean, to be fair, Cthulhu went down like a bitch.

[00:17:55] Somebody drove a small Norwegian fishing boat into him and he was like, ah, I'll go back

[00:17:58] to sleep.

[00:18:00] He was just really tired.

[00:18:02] What?

[00:18:02] That's the end of the call of Cthulhu.

[00:18:04] The actual story of the Call of Cthulhu.

[00:18:07] We say to the person who works in a library...

[00:18:10] Spoiler alert to a hundred year old story.

[00:18:12] They run the fucking Norwegian...

[00:18:14] There's been about a dozen of them that I've read, so I'm like, wait, which story are

[00:18:18] we talking about now?

[00:18:19] The Call of Cthulhu.

[00:18:20] The original, got it.

[00:18:22] Yeah.

[00:18:23] They run a fishing boat into him and he's like, ah, back to sleep.

[00:18:26] That hurt.

[00:18:28] Ah!

[00:18:28] You guys are pretty fair.

[00:18:35] Anyway...

[00:18:35] Uh, so wait, we were brought together to suss out the cult, right?

[00:18:42] Well, we were being paid for it, but yes.

[00:18:43] Right.

[00:18:44] So we've done that part, right?

[00:18:48] Yeah, we sussed out the cult.

[00:18:50] You definitely sussed out the cult.

[00:18:52] You got that part.

[00:18:53] I don't think the guy who's supposed to pay us can pay us.

[00:19:00] Yeah, that money's gone, huh?

[00:19:02] I mean, we can always go...

[00:19:04] I mean, he already paid you pretty well to begin with in fairness.

[00:19:07] I feel like narratively our goal is to go to the next town and then see what happens

[00:19:12] as if we, you know, need more guidance into the narrative of the story.

[00:19:16] Like, you're right.

[00:19:17] I feel like our purpose is now gone.

[00:19:19] I mean, we found the call.

[00:19:20] Should've stolen everything.

[00:19:21] Yeah.

[00:19:21] Good work.

[00:19:23] Huzzah!

[00:19:23] Game over.

[00:19:25] Yeah, we need Cliff Flynn here.

[00:19:27] Roll credits!

[00:19:33] Giant frog leaping across the landscape.

[00:19:36] Members of the cult and maybe people who aren't, you're not sure, are still filing out

[00:19:44] of the city.

[00:19:47] How long does it take to smash a small medieval kingdom?

[00:19:51] Not that small.

[00:19:52] Not that small.

[00:19:52] Not that small.

[00:19:53] It's the, like, county seat.

[00:19:54] Yeah, not that small at all, bud.

[00:19:56] I've seen some county seats.

[00:19:58] That doesn't mean that there's much to them.

[00:20:01] But, like, if you're waking up some sort of, like, horrific otherworldly deity to do death

[00:20:07] and destruction, like, how long do you think it would take?

[00:20:09] Like, surely it's, like...

[00:20:12] Depends.

[00:20:12] So excited to just smash and eat everything.

[00:20:15] That's that picture you sent me online.

[00:20:17] I already knew what it was.

[00:20:18] Yeah.

[00:20:19] Yeah.

[00:20:20] So...

[00:20:20] It's Sathagwa.

[00:20:21] Sathagwa eating the city, the villagers.

[00:20:23] Mm-hmm.

[00:20:24] Excuse me, uh, as we know it, Bo Krug.

[00:20:26] Yeah, Bo Krug.

[00:20:27] Same with water lizard.

[00:20:28] Mm-hmm.

[00:20:28] Really the same guy.

[00:20:29] I don't think he had a death shriek or any massive AOE thing going on, so it may take

[00:20:34] him longer if he's doing it the old-fashioned way.

[00:20:36] No, but I figured we'd be stomping around Godzilla-style.

[00:20:38] So, anyway...

[00:20:39] I think Godzilla had radioactive breath, though.

[00:20:42] Godzilla or Sathagwa zero.

[00:20:45] The file of individuals, um, line of individuals are heading east.

[00:20:52] Almost dead east, but slightly...

[00:20:55] Slightly southeast.

[00:20:57] Can we summon as a ritual Godzilla and take this guy out?

[00:21:02] Oh, no!

[00:21:03] He might have been able to do something fun if he would have taken formula spells.

[00:21:07] We had one opportunity.

[00:21:09] You did?

[00:21:10] Uh, no.

[00:21:11] Should have provided more than one opportunity.

[00:21:14] Mom's spaghetti.

[00:21:15] I mentioned it multiple times and nobody got caught on.

[00:21:18] That's not true at all.

[00:21:19] We looked into your books.

[00:21:21] Yeah.

[00:21:22] It just...

[00:21:23] I mean, they're just linked to your ritual spells.

[00:21:25] Worth it.

[00:21:25] There's more consequences if you fail, but...

[00:21:27] Still fun.

[00:21:31] Go, go, Godzilla!

[00:21:33] So, anyway, it appears as if everyone is filing One Direction.

[00:21:37] I hate that man.

[00:21:38] You can't stretch...

[00:21:40] I noticed that your cat friend is missing.

[00:21:43] What would you like to do?

[00:21:45] We lack a ranger.

[00:21:48] That is true.

[00:21:49] We lack a mystic cat guide.

[00:21:52] Yep.

[00:21:52] That's also true.

[00:21:55] You probably need a drink of water.

[00:21:57] I mean, logically speaking, we follow them to wherever they're going.

[00:22:01] I think my character would want to continue to murder them.

[00:22:05] Like, I would probably be errantly murdering them.

[00:22:08] I think I'm probably pretty angry.

[00:22:11] They all seem pretty docile.

[00:22:13] Like, no one's attacking you.

[00:22:14] That...

[00:22:14] You're just making it easier.

[00:22:18] It's a lot harder to summon things if their cult members are dead.

[00:22:22] I mean, if you take one down, the rest just run and continue on their way.

[00:22:25] They're all heading the same direction.

[00:22:27] No one really scatters back.

[00:22:30] Yeah, but I'm just...

[00:22:32] What's the phrase?

[00:22:33] I'm decreasing the surplus population of cultists.

[00:22:39] Bob Humbug.

[00:22:41] So, understanding...

[00:22:42] Take me back.

[00:22:45] The understanding of this land is it's like three sort of major kingdoms.

[00:22:50] Like...

[00:22:51] But there's no...

[00:22:53] There's no single, like...

[00:22:57] High king.

[00:22:58] High king.

[00:22:58] No.

[00:22:59] Right?

[00:22:59] No.

[00:23:01] Not that they wouldn't all want to be, but...

[00:23:03] Right.

[00:23:04] Now there's two.

[00:23:06] That is true.

[00:23:09] The geopolitical landscape has changed.

[00:23:13] It's much easier to roll by two than three.

[00:23:18] It's messy.

[00:23:20] Spartans did it.

[00:23:21] I mean, the Romans did it.

[00:23:22] The triumvirate.

[00:23:23] No, I meant the two...

[00:23:25] Yeah.

[00:23:25] Yeah.

[00:23:26] Exactly.

[00:23:26] And how did that work out for two thirds of those people?

[00:23:29] I mean, for a while it was fine.

[00:23:31] I mean, nothing lasts forever.

[00:23:33] Who wants to live forever, Troy?

[00:23:35] Who dares to live forever?

[00:23:36] A Highlander.

[00:23:38] Very delete.

[00:23:38] I was going to sing some more Queen.

[00:23:40] I'm happy to.

[00:23:41] I know, that's why I stopped you.

[00:23:42] We might get some lawsuits, but I'm happy to sing Queen.

[00:23:46] Um...

[00:23:47] I think it would be recognizable as parody.

[00:23:49] Do we want to...

[00:23:51] I mean, I'm okay with trailing and murking some more cultists as well, but...

[00:23:58] I feel like that's not going to get us much.

[00:24:00] Where are they going?

[00:24:01] Do we know which way east, southeast, north by northwest you said where they're going?

[00:24:07] Do we have a map?

[00:24:08] Yes.

[00:24:09] Towards the mountains.

[00:24:10] I get that, but are they like...

[00:24:12] We are here.

[00:24:14] Forest basically backs up to the city.

[00:24:17] Are there things in the mountains?

[00:24:19] Are there cities in that direction?

[00:24:21] Are there towns?

[00:24:21] No, not really.

[00:24:25] No, not really.

[00:24:25] You could speak to some people instead of killing them.

[00:24:27] We're here.

[00:24:28] That doesn't seem like an effective way of doing it.

[00:24:32] So they're going into the mountains.

[00:24:36] But the water goes through there, so there's probably a mountain pass, so they could be traveling through that.

[00:24:41] If there's a shortcut through those mountains, that would be the more effective way to get there.

[00:24:45] Wow.

[00:24:46] There's a river coming...

[00:24:49] Well, are you talking about this river?

[00:24:52] No, that's...

[00:24:53] No.

[00:24:54] Because that's...

[00:24:54] Yeah, there.

[00:24:55] I don't know that that's going through the mountain.

[00:24:57] It's coming from the mountain.

[00:24:58] Well, right.

[00:24:59] But I'm curious if it...

[00:25:00] I don't know.

[00:25:03] To me, it looks like it stops at the mountain.

[00:25:06] Somebody other than the barbarian should probably interrogate the cultists, but I feel like he would just be murdering them for everything that they've done.

[00:25:16] So...

[00:25:17] Cody thinks it's a good idea to interrogate them.

[00:25:19] I don't think the ghoul is willing to do that.

[00:25:21] But while he's snacking on one of them that he's killed, feel free.

[00:25:25] There's plenty of people walking by if you want to talk to them again.

[00:25:27] Some of them in green cloaks.

[00:25:29] Some of them not.

[00:25:30] No one seems to be forcibly walking this direction.

[00:25:32] So you're saying that the majority of the green cloaks are heading into the forest?

[00:25:39] You're in the forest.

[00:25:40] They're heading toward the mountain.

[00:25:42] Right.

[00:25:43] Which is further into the forest.

[00:25:44] Yes.

[00:25:46] And it is neotated as the sunless forest for a reason.

[00:25:49] It is so dense that sunlight virtually doesn't impact it.

[00:25:54] Dense canopy.

[00:25:56] I've seen this movie before.

[00:25:58] Where are the barrels?

[00:26:03] Barrel rider.

[00:26:08] So...

[00:26:08] The normal citizens are going the same direction as the cultists?

[00:26:12] That is something to question.

[00:26:16] I grab a normal citizen.

[00:26:17] Where are you going?

[00:26:18] What?

[00:26:19] What?

[00:26:19] Where are you going?

[00:26:21] We're headed toward the mountain to sleep the sleep of angels.

[00:26:26] Where are you going?

[00:26:26] You come in with us.

[00:26:27] Why?

[00:26:28] Why?

[00:26:29] I'm sorry.

[00:26:29] Why?

[00:26:30] What is this?

[00:26:31] Sleeping of...

[00:26:32] Sleep of angels.

[00:26:33] What?

[00:26:34] Explain.

[00:26:35] Can I just go fuck?

[00:26:37] They will go on to explain a lot of the things that you've already learned about wanting

[00:26:41] to sleep forever.

[00:26:43] I can help with that.

[00:26:44] He said he grabbed a regular person.

[00:26:46] I did.

[00:26:47] And my question is...

[00:26:48] And that's what they're saying?

[00:26:49] And my question is, why do you need to go to the mountains to do that?

[00:26:53] What's in the mountains?

[00:26:55] Why are you on there?

[00:26:56] Elucidate.

[00:26:58] That is where the gathering is.

[00:26:59] It's a great word.

[00:27:01] The gathering.

[00:27:02] The juggalos?

[00:27:04] Or immortals.

[00:27:05] We were on immortals earlier.

[00:27:06] I thought that was a funnier joke, but you went another way.

[00:27:09] The gathering...

[00:27:12] Is Oberon present?

[00:27:14] What's going on here?

[00:27:15] Another good reference.

[00:27:18] Fae touched.

[00:27:21] It's all tied together.

[00:27:23] Pulling down the big numbers over here.

[00:27:24] Show me on this doll where the Fae touched you.

[00:27:27] I knew that joke was coming eventually.

[00:27:29] I was holding a soul.

[00:27:32] No, that's...

[00:27:32] And they, again, they just...

[00:27:34] They explain similar things to what you've learned already.

[00:27:38] I want to know who's calling the gathering.

[00:27:41] I mean, like, somebody has to be president and vice president.

[00:27:44] It is where we are called to go.

[00:27:46] The more of us that sleep, the more powerful that Sathagawa becomes.

[00:27:52] See?

[00:27:53] I'm doing us a favor.

[00:27:55] I'm doing us a favor.

[00:27:55] So, even the normal citizens are...

[00:27:59] I'm thinking that they just left their robes at home.

[00:28:02] You want to roll, like, an insight or something?

[00:28:04] They're cultists.

[00:28:05] They're cultists or drug addicts.

[00:28:06] All of the people that are leaving the city, everybody's heading into the forest.

[00:28:11] 18 on insight.

[00:28:13] Give me a poll.

[00:28:14] This person has either been convinced or was brainwashed to believe that this is where they need to go.

[00:28:19] Not necessarily a magical thing.

[00:28:21] It's just like, this is where they believe they need to go now.

[00:28:24] Sathagawa broke their brains when he showed up.

[00:28:26] Or Bull Krug or whoever this person is at this point.

[00:28:29] Don't let Cody confuse you.

[00:28:31] Bull Krug's just way cooler.

[00:28:33] Way cooler.

[00:28:35] Just gonna fall back on...

[00:28:36] It's just more fun to chant Bull Krug as all this is.

[00:28:39] Majority rule, Bull Krug.

[00:28:41] You should read that one.

[00:28:44] That is probably one of my favorite Dreamland cycle.

[00:28:47] I have the book, I just haven't had a chance to read it.

[00:28:49] The Doom That Came to Sarnath.

[00:28:52] Gotcha.

[00:28:53] Yeah, because you gave us all the big compendium, which was good.

[00:28:57] The Doom That Came to Sarnath is a good one.

[00:29:01] So, they're going to the gathering.

[00:29:03] They're going to the market.

[00:29:06] Come with us.

[00:29:09] I think the person will continue to walk.

[00:29:11] Hey, you didn't give me the benefits of coming with you.

[00:29:15] Told you what the benefits were sleeping.

[00:29:18] Sleeping the eternal sleep.

[00:29:20] I just woke up.

[00:29:21] I don't want to go back to bed.

[00:29:23] Empowering their god.

[00:29:25] I'm kind of with the barbarian here.

[00:29:27] They're not the ranks.

[00:29:29] Kill, kill, kill, kill.

[00:29:31] Based on that map, by the way, it's about a 30 mile hike.

[00:29:34] We have to keep ourselves occupied somehow.

[00:29:38] It's a long road trip.

[00:29:40] While they're doing this, I'll interview somebody with more pertinent information.

[00:29:43] I got all I need for them.

[00:29:45] I will take 10 minutes and cast Speak With Animals as a ritual.

[00:29:50] Okay.

[00:29:51] I'll interview the nearest bird.

[00:29:55] Okay.

[00:29:56] You find a raven on a tree top.

[00:29:59] Of course you do.

[00:30:00] I could have said crow.

[00:30:02] There are birds that are not black.

[00:30:05] Why not a birdie or something?

[00:30:07] I'm looking for a blue-footed boobie.

[00:30:10] Specifically.

[00:30:11] I don't think they're in this region.

[00:30:13] A good Tennessee warbler.

[00:30:15] Mm-hmm.

[00:30:16] A yellow-bellied sap sucker.

[00:30:19] Mm-hmm.

[00:30:22] Woody the woodpecker comes down from a tree.

[00:30:26] I would inquire as to what the fuck is in that direction where all these people are walking.

[00:30:30] You have to describe to me, can they talk back to you?

[00:30:32] Is that how this works?

[00:30:33] Or is it through...

[00:30:35] I assume I'm talking to goddamn...

[00:30:37] I don't know.

[00:30:41] It's a ritual spell.

[00:30:42] I'm pretty sure it's an empathetic telepathic link.

[00:30:45] That's what I thought.

[00:30:46] I don't think they actually talk to you.

[00:30:48] I think that that would be more interesting for an audio podcast.

[00:30:54] Bummer.

[00:30:56] That was a spell work.

[00:30:58] You gain the ability to comprehend and verbally communicate with beasts.

[00:31:03] Verbally means talk out loud.

[00:31:05] Yeah, just talk about it.

[00:31:05] For the duration.

[00:31:07] The knowledge and awareness of many beasts is limited by their intelligence, but at a minimum, beasts can give you information about nearby locations and monsters, including whatever they can perceive or have perceived within the past day.

[00:31:20] You can persuade them to do small favors for you.

[00:31:22] Okay.

[00:31:24] Then your question was, what is in that direction?

[00:31:27] Yes, I will explain the line of green-cloaked people that I'm sure the bird has seen.

[00:31:33] Mm-hmm.

[00:31:34] They're moving in a direction.

[00:31:36] Do you know where they're going?

[00:31:38] What's in that direction?

[00:31:40] Are there big gatherings of people?

[00:31:42] Are there caves?

[00:31:43] Are there lunar landing modules that will take them to their leader?

[00:31:48] Yeah.

[00:31:48] They will tell you that there's a mine in the mountains in that direction, that that is where they're heading.

[00:31:54] Are there normally people in that mine?

[00:31:56] Like, are people around there normally?

[00:31:58] Not for ages.

[00:31:59] Cool.

[00:32:01] Makes sense.

[00:32:04] Context, man.

[00:32:05] Context.

[00:32:07] Anything else anyone would like me to ask?

[00:32:11] I feel like that was way more useful than talking to clearly an uncloaked cultist.

[00:32:17] Well, I don't...

[00:32:18] Who might proceed to kill because that's the right thing to do.

[00:32:20] Again, I don't think...

[00:32:20] What are you saying?

[00:32:21] I don't think they're uncloaked cultists.

[00:32:22] I think the town is further influenced than we thought.

[00:32:29] I mean, we didn't really speak to anybody outside the castle, so...

[00:32:32] It's true.

[00:32:34] Yeah.

[00:32:34] They probably all share the same stat block.

[00:32:39] Are you done speaking to your bird?

[00:32:40] Yeah, no, I don't...

[00:32:41] Unless there's any other information you'd like me to get out of this, the main thing that I want to know is where the fuck are these people going?

[00:32:46] That's where they're going.

[00:32:47] Which is a mine which I feel like we should investigate because I haven't killed enough cultists today.

[00:32:52] True.

[00:32:53] At least we have an exit strategy here.

[00:32:55] Collapse the mine when we leave.

[00:32:57] I suppose.

[00:32:59] Doesn't make a lot of sense, but...

[00:33:00] No, no.

[00:33:01] Seems to be narratively the way we're being pushed, so...

[00:33:03] Well, I think it makes sense because, like, if they go to sleep, they're just fueling Sathagwa.

[00:33:08] Right. Cool.

[00:33:09] As you guys continue through the forest, you enter an area of the forest where you hear a sound that kind of sounds like wind chimes clinking together.

[00:33:17] Click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click.

[00:33:19] Forest witch?

[00:33:21] Yeah, 100%.

[00:33:22] And you look around, you see cobwebs are covering trees.

[00:33:30] Fireball.

[00:33:31] Done.

[00:33:33] Next challenge.

[00:33:35] I got that.

[00:33:36] You kind of stop and look around and you realize you kind of don't really hear any other...

[00:33:41] You kind of suddenly realize how quiet it is here.

[00:33:43] Like, you don't hear birds, insects.

[00:33:45] It's kind of strangely quiet.

[00:33:47] Yeah.

[00:33:47] Because we're now in the deep woods with the spiders.

[00:33:52] With the Blair witch.

[00:33:55] Are we going to find some dwarves hanging up there tied up in cocoons?

[00:33:59] What's going on here?

[00:34:00] I already made a murkwood forest joke.

[00:34:01] You did.

[00:34:03] You did.

[00:34:03] And now we're there.

[00:34:07] Roll me a group, whoever has the highest perception.

[00:34:12] Whoever's the highest?

[00:34:12] I'm rolling on a plus four.

[00:34:14] That's higher than mine.

[00:34:15] I was going to say, I think Flynn's is higher than mine.

[00:34:16] Flynn, would you like to roll it?

[00:34:17] Doesn't matter.

[00:34:18] Flynn's dead.

[00:34:20] It's got cat cough.

[00:34:23] That's an oversized eight.

[00:34:26] Bummer, dude.

[00:34:29] I suck at playing D&D.

[00:34:32] That's why my most memorable character is a character that just said spell save every time I did anything.

[00:34:40] Well, throw some minis out here.

[00:34:42] Let's do it this way.

[00:34:44] Oh, we're fighting pink and blue wizards.

[00:34:51] No spiders?

[00:34:52] Weird.

[00:34:53] One's dictating from a book and the other one's holding a basketball over his head.

[00:34:57] And that's Trogdor.

[00:34:59] I needed two mediums and a large.

[00:35:02] Big spider.

[00:35:03] You could use quarters like the rest of us.

[00:35:07] Loot that body.

[00:35:09] Loot that body.

[00:35:14] He wants to be silver.

[00:35:15] He wants to be gold.

[00:35:19] Paladin's choice.

[00:35:21] You could be a twister die.

[00:35:22] Could be a twister die.

[00:35:24] I want to be a twister die.

[00:35:24] I want to be silver.

[00:35:27] The very best.

[00:35:29] Like no one ever was.

[00:35:31] Where did all the cultists go?

[00:35:34] We were following them predominantly.

[00:35:36] Did they just fuck off?

[00:35:37] Narratively speaking.

[00:35:38] Narratively speaking, you guys heard wind chimes and stopped.

[00:35:42] And now you're alone.

[00:35:43] We're effectively in the lost woods.

[00:35:45] He's randomly choosing where we're going.

[00:35:47] That's how this game works.

[00:35:49] That one got really fucking close.

[00:35:51] I'm just gonna throw that out there.

[00:35:53] Big old yellow trogdor.

[00:35:56] I think that's technically a biaqui bites.

[00:35:59] Those are biaquis, but that's not what you're actually fighting.

[00:36:03] Giant spiders.

[00:36:05] Yep.

[00:36:05] Does a 22 hit you?

[00:36:07] Surprise attack.

[00:36:08] I mean, if you feel like it should, I guess it does.

[00:36:14] Suddenly giant fangs just pierce your body.

[00:36:17] And you can all roll initiative while I figure out the hit points on this.

[00:36:22] 1d8 worth of hit points.

[00:36:25] Oh, buddy.

[00:36:28] That's 11 piercing damage and I need you to make a constitution saving throw.

[00:36:33] No, it's not.

[00:36:35] You're not raging yet?

[00:36:36] Don't have to rage.

[00:36:37] Don't have to rage.

[00:36:38] My constitution saving throw is a 21, numbnuts.

[00:36:41] You succeed, sir.

[00:36:42] I bet I did.

[00:36:45] You still take half the damage of 2d8 poison, which is 14, so 7 poison on you.

[00:36:52] As well as 11 piercing, 7 poison.

[00:36:58] I feel like I should have gotten my danger sense, but that's fine.

[00:37:02] I wasn't aware it was a thing.

[00:37:03] I asked you to roll a perception.

[00:37:04] You could have said that.

[00:37:08] You're poisoned for one hour, even after regaining hit points.

[00:37:12] Oh, that might...

[00:37:13] Is that a second part only if you fail?

[00:37:15] That's weird.

[00:37:16] It's called having a benefit for rolling.

[00:37:17] Oh no, that's only if it reduces you to zero.

[00:37:20] Sorry.

[00:37:20] If it reduces you to zero, the target is stable, but poisoned for one hour.

[00:37:24] So nevermind.

[00:37:25] You are bitten and you're not technically poisoned.

[00:37:30] You have poison damage.

[00:37:34] Initiative.

[00:37:40] What's your initiative, Cody?

[00:37:41] 7.

[00:37:42] 7.

[00:37:44] 18.

[00:37:47] Alex?

[00:37:48] 19.

[00:37:50] Fucking one-upper.

[00:37:52] Had that same problem last weekend.

[00:37:54] Somebody beat me by one point.

[00:37:56] So these things are indeed spiders?

[00:37:58] All three of them?

[00:37:59] No, it's Trogdor and a guy with a basketball and a guy with a book.

[00:38:03] Yeah, the Byaki is a giant spider and from the darkness you see two giant wolf spiders.

[00:38:10] Walk out.

[00:38:11] The wolf spiders rolled higher than you guys, so they will go first.

[00:38:16] Wolf spider.

[00:38:19] And then...

[00:38:20] Alex, and then Troy.

[00:38:23] And then the giant spider.

[00:38:26] And then Cody.

[00:38:28] Wolf spiders go first.

[00:38:30] Running up onto Alex.

[00:38:32] One wolf spider.

[00:38:36] We'll attempt to bite.

[00:38:38] It's a natural 20, sir.

[00:38:41] That is 10 piercing damage to you.

[00:38:47] DC constitution.

[00:38:49] DC constitution.

[00:38:49] Give me a constitution saving throw.

[00:38:51] That's sick.

[00:38:52] Natural 20.

[00:38:53] You save, but you still take half.

[00:38:56] Which comes to...

[00:39:00] Okay, round up or round down?

[00:39:02] Round down is what I thought.

[00:39:03] So three poison damage on top of the...

[00:39:06] To the fish man.

[00:39:09] That might hit you.

[00:39:12] 14 hit?

[00:39:13] No.

[00:39:14] So then Pinky misses.

[00:39:19] Um...

[00:39:20] Yeah.

[00:39:20] Wolf spider turn.

[00:39:21] Alex, go.

[00:39:22] Hit some things.

[00:39:24] Kill them.

[00:39:27] I'm gold.

[00:39:29] He's silver.

[00:39:32] Your turn, sir.

[00:39:33] Let's stab with a dagger.

[00:39:36] Okay.

[00:39:38] It is right up on ya.

[00:39:43] 17.

[00:39:44] Does that hit?

[00:39:46] It does.

[00:39:47] Excellent.

[00:39:48] Seven damage on that.

[00:39:49] Else?

[00:39:50] I am.

[00:39:52] I'm going to have my homunculus attack it now as a bonus action.

[00:39:55] I forgot you had that little guy.

[00:39:57] I do.

[00:39:59] So...

[00:39:59] I'll have Belle attack it.

[00:40:04] So, roll to see if the little guy hits.

[00:40:07] The D4 is your homunculus.

[00:40:08] Does not hit.

[00:40:10] It's a...

[00:40:13] True.

[00:40:16] Um...

[00:40:17] Bonus action.

[00:40:18] Searing smite.

[00:40:23] Attempt to hit the blue spider.

[00:40:27] I'm blue, I'm a spider.

[00:40:30] Um...

[00:40:31] Does, uh...

[00:40:32] For the shot, it kind of worked.

[00:40:38] Uh...

[00:40:39] Yep.

[00:40:41] Mm-hmm.

[00:40:42] Mm-hmm.

[00:40:42] Mm-hmm.

[00:40:42] Mm-hmm.

[00:40:42] Add...

[00:40:43] Add your modifier to your hit.

[00:40:45] Yeah, I know.

[00:40:45] 18.

[00:40:49] It definitely hits.

[00:40:50] Kids are saying slaps these days.

[00:40:52] That is a full 14.

[00:40:56] Nice hit.

[00:40:58] Plus...

[00:41:01] Plus...

[00:41:05] Four.

[00:41:06] So, that's 18 all together.

[00:41:08] Okay.

[00:41:09] Good hit.

[00:41:10] You already did a bonus, right?

[00:41:11] So, anything else?

[00:41:12] That is it.

[00:41:13] Cool.

[00:41:13] Giant spider gets another turn.

[00:41:15] And I'll need a constitution saving throw on its turn.

[00:41:18] Oh, when it comes back around.

[00:41:20] Gotcha.

[00:41:20] Remind me when it comes back around.

[00:41:21] When it comes around.

[00:41:26] That album turned 30 years old this year.

[00:41:28] Oh, yeah?

[00:41:29] Yeah.

[00:41:30] Not surprising.

[00:41:31] It was the first CD I ever bought.

[00:41:32] First...

[00:41:34] Full CD I ever bought.

[00:41:35] Nice.

[00:41:40] I think my first CD my mother bought into like one of those Columbia House Records deal,

[00:41:44] and so I got a lot of weird shit.

[00:41:45] No, the first one I personally bought.

[00:41:49] My first CD I ever purchased was Significant Other.

[00:41:53] One that's good.

[00:41:54] Nice.

[00:41:54] Yeah.

[00:41:56] Um, 24 to hit this time.

[00:41:57] Which still hits.

[00:42:00] Um...

[00:42:00] This is a web attack.

[00:42:09] I'm getting she-lobbed in this bitch.

[00:42:11] Yeah.

[00:42:12] So, right now you are restrained.

[00:42:18] As an action, the restrained target can make a strength check bursting the web on a success.

[00:42:26] Um, the webbing can also be attacked and destroyed.

[00:42:32] But, uh, you are restrained by webbing.

[00:42:35] And it is your turn.

[00:42:36] He gets the restrained on a hit.

[00:42:39] Yep. Okay.

[00:42:41] Uh, a restrained creature speed becomes zero.

[00:42:45] It can't benefit from any bonus to its speed.

[00:42:47] Attack rolls against the creature have advantage, and the creature's attack rolls have disadvantage.

[00:42:51] The creature has disadvantage on dexterity saving throws.

[00:42:55] None of that says that I can't do exactly what I want to do, which is rage and recklessly attack this bitch.

[00:43:01] It's still at a disadvantage attack.

[00:43:04] Not with a reckless attack, it's not.

[00:43:06] It's a straight attack.

[00:43:07] So then it's a straight roll.

[00:43:09] Right, I understand that.

[00:43:10] I am negating the-

[00:43:11] It's fine, so it's a straight roll.

[00:43:13] Right.

[00:43:13] Rage is fine.

[00:43:14] Straight roll.

[00:43:14] Yeah.

[00:43:15] I assume you're attacking the one that just wrapped you in webbing.

[00:43:17] My speed is zero.

[00:43:19] So if it were five feet back, it could do something, it could do it.

[00:43:22] No, I gotcha.

[00:43:23] Alright, so, ultimately, rage.

[00:43:26] Okay.

[00:43:29] That is like a fucking big number.

[00:43:32] 24 to hit its bitch ass.

[00:43:34] Do it.

[00:43:35] 12 points of damage.

[00:43:37] Else?

[00:43:39] Well, I can't move.

[00:43:41] No, you cannot.

[00:43:42] I have taken a bonus action.

[00:43:43] Hmm?

[00:43:44] I have attacked.

[00:43:45] Cool.

[00:43:46] Top of the order.

[00:43:47] I spit in one of its eyes.

[00:43:50] I spit in your eye.

[00:43:52] Wolfies.

[00:43:53] Which one?

[00:43:54] I fart in your general direction.

[00:43:57] Um...

[00:43:57] Pink one goes first against Alex.

[00:44:00] It's not actually within a five-

[00:44:02] Oh, I guess it is.

[00:44:03] Your die is fucked up.

[00:44:05] That's a natural one.

[00:44:07] He misses.

[00:44:09] The blue one will then go for...

[00:44:12] No, the blue one rolls a save.

[00:44:14] That's a...

[00:44:15] Oh, sorry.

[00:44:16] That's a 19 on the save.

[00:44:18] I need you to roll again.

[00:44:19] You didn't know it was a save.

[00:44:21] No.

[00:44:22] You did say it was a save.

[00:44:23] What's the actual save?

[00:44:25] Sorry.

[00:44:25] Wisdom?

[00:44:25] 27.

[00:44:26] Con.

[00:44:27] Con.

[00:44:28] But if you rolled a 19 on the die, you're good.

[00:44:30] Probably a save anyway.

[00:44:31] It's a 20 total.

[00:44:32] Yeah.

[00:44:32] Now I can attack you.

[00:44:33] Needs a 27 to save.

[00:44:36] I will miss on the attack though.

[00:44:39] Single digit.

[00:44:40] That's a win for my team.

[00:44:42] I'd rather have him.

[00:44:43] It then goes to Alex.

[00:44:45] 15 foot cube.

[00:44:46] Would that be around me?

[00:44:48] Depends on what you're casting.

[00:44:49] What you're casting.

[00:44:50] Thunder wave was what I was thinking about doing.

[00:44:53] What does it say?

[00:44:54] I think you pick a point.

[00:44:56] 15 foot.

[00:44:58] Wave.

[00:44:59] I think you're hitting it.

[00:45:01] I think it's from...

[00:45:03] It would be from where you're hitting.

[00:45:06] I might have some.

[00:45:08] Thunderous force sweeps out from you.

[00:45:09] Each creature in a 15 foot cube originating from you must make a constitution saving throw

[00:45:14] on a failed save.

[00:45:14] So you pick a point and then it's a cube going outward from you.

[00:45:19] So it would be like...

[00:45:20] It would hit all of you then.

[00:45:21] No.

[00:45:22] It's from you.

[00:45:23] If you are the origin, then yes.

[00:45:25] I wanted to check what the definition of the cube in this situation would be first before

[00:45:30] I did it.

[00:45:30] It sounds like it surrounds you if you are the origin.

[00:45:32] Oh, I don't want to hit Troy.

[00:45:34] I mean, you can move in general and not hit other people, but that's entirely true.

[00:45:39] Yeah, you can still, you can move if you move here.

[00:45:44] Then that gets...

[00:45:46] I would still hit him.

[00:45:48] One more square and you would be a couple more squares.

[00:45:50] There you go.

[00:45:51] If you move around there, then yeah.

[00:45:52] Now you're okay.

[00:45:52] Then the rest of us get out of threat.

[00:45:55] No, the thing is...

[00:45:56] Other than your monculus, you're good.

[00:45:58] What you want to look for is range there.

[00:46:01] See, as it says range self.

[00:46:03] You are the origin point, so you build a 15 foot cube from your point.

[00:46:10] Gotcha.

[00:46:13] So essentially...

[00:46:17] You get it.

[00:46:18] I do get it.

[00:46:19] It's actually pretty big.

[00:46:21] It is.

[00:46:26] Is that a con safe?

[00:46:27] He is just outside of it.

[00:46:31] Yeah, it's a con safe.

[00:46:32] I mean, it's not going to hurt him that bad to be honest, but it's entirely up to you if you want to go ahead with it.

[00:46:37] We can always move you back around if you want to reassess.

[00:46:41] I kind of like that actually, because that'll do a double for me in the next situation.

[00:46:47] So, yeah, let's go for that.

[00:46:51] So, pink needs to make a con saving throw.

[00:46:55] Your homunculus will need to make one as well.

[00:46:57] Yes.

[00:46:58] It automatically dodges if I don't use a bonus action for it.

[00:47:02] A con saving throw?

[00:47:03] Does it dodge action?

[00:47:05] Automatically.

[00:47:07] So...

[00:47:09] It's a 19 save?

[00:47:11] Yep.

[00:47:14] I'd really like to use to roll something less than an 18.

[00:47:17] So, let me get two eights.

[00:47:19] I mean, nice tonight.

[00:47:20] He has it on our attacks.

[00:47:24] Let's see here.

[00:47:25] So, roll this.

[00:47:27] He's gone two for two on hits for me so far.

[00:47:30] So, you get four.

[00:47:32] And that is...

[00:47:34] Four damage.

[00:47:37] It's French for damage.

[00:47:40] Eh.

[00:47:42] I was hoping it'd get pushed.

[00:47:44] A lot of French tonight.

[00:47:46] So, you moved.

[00:47:47] You attacked.

[00:47:48] Anything else?

[00:47:50] Homunculus trying to attack?

[00:47:51] Or...

[00:47:52] Did you roll a save for him?

[00:47:53] He automatically dodges.

[00:47:55] It's just something he does.

[00:47:57] If I don't...

[00:47:58] My homunculus, if I don't use bonus action to make him do something else, he automatically dodges.

[00:48:05] Cool, cool.

[00:48:05] So, it's something fun for that.

[00:48:08] I'll have the homunculus attack too for my bonus.

[00:48:13] On your bonus, he attacks?

[00:48:14] Or does he dodge?

[00:48:16] I imagine he can't do both.

[00:48:18] Is dodge a reaction?

[00:48:20] Or is it his action to dodge?

[00:48:21] May want to define that.

[00:48:24] I imagine he does not have many options as a homunculus.

[00:48:27] So, I just want to be sure.

[00:48:27] Does not have many options.

[00:48:29] I just need to check one thing on him.

[00:48:31] Yeah, that's it for me.

[00:48:34] Troy.

[00:48:37] Um...

[00:48:43] Spending a trolley right now.

[00:48:47] You're on roughly a two day hike, just so you know.

[00:48:52] Uh...

[00:48:52] Yeah, so that's...

[00:48:54] Yeah.

[00:48:55] So that's a hit.

[00:49:00] Although...

[00:49:01] Not necessarily on all six of its legs at this point, so...

[00:49:05] They don't have a lot...

[00:49:06] Too many more hit points left.

[00:49:08] It's not a fucking spider if you don't have six legs.

[00:49:11] Poser.

[00:49:12] Eight legs, whatever.

[00:49:14] Uh, that's...

[00:49:15] Eight...

[00:49:15] No.

[00:49:16] I hate spiders.

[00:49:17] Ten damage.

[00:49:18] That one crumbles and lays on its back,

[00:49:21] because its legs curl upward.

[00:49:23] Into itself.

[00:49:25] The movie was not six-legged freaks.

[00:49:29] Uh...

[00:49:30] That one's dead.

[00:49:30] Anything else?

[00:49:32] Uh...

[00:49:33] How much damage have you taken?

[00:49:37] A good chunk.

[00:49:38] 20 plus damage.

[00:49:40] Yeah, out of 54.

[00:49:42] Yeah.

[00:49:43] I mean, that's...

[00:49:44] Nearly half.

[00:49:45] He's also raging now.

[00:49:47] He hit me pretty good a couple.

[00:49:48] I think both of my things...

[00:49:50] Yeah, they're actions.

[00:49:52] I will...

[00:49:54] I'll just move to give it.

[00:49:56] Um...

[00:49:56] Should I stay next to you?

[00:49:57] Or...

[00:49:58] You don't have anything that's...

[00:49:59] You don't have an area attack to yourself.

[00:50:01] No.

[00:50:01] He's just restrained.

[00:50:02] Do not get between me and my target.

[00:50:05] Very good idea.

[00:50:08] Um...

[00:50:08] As you are restrained, he will attack you.

[00:50:10] Since you are restrained, it is with advantage.

[00:50:13] He already had advantage, because I attacked recklessly.

[00:50:15] His webs mean nothing to me.

[00:50:16] Either way, it's advantage in.

[00:50:20] 22 to hit.

[00:50:22] Doesn't matter.

[00:50:23] He bites again.

[00:50:28] This one is...

[00:50:31] It's a D8, right?

[00:50:34] You dealt 11 last time, so I don't know that it was a D8.

[00:50:37] But you may be cheating.

[00:50:41] Oh, there's a plus to it.

[00:50:43] So that is...

[00:50:46] 8 piercing.

[00:50:48] I heard you say 4.

[00:50:50] Constitution saving throw for the poison damage.

[00:50:53] Which is 2D8.

[00:50:54] Oops, that's not...

[00:50:57] That's not...

[00:50:59] It's like a 23 to my concept.

[00:51:02] Then you take 5.

[00:51:03] I heard you say 2.

[00:51:04] 5 is the half.

[00:51:06] So half the half.

[00:51:13] Wait, rage negates poison as well?

[00:51:17] Basically everything but necrotic, isn't it?

[00:51:19] Everything but psychic.

[00:51:21] Oh, even necrotic.

[00:51:22] I thought necrotic was a different totem.

[00:51:23] Nope.

[00:51:24] Everything but psychic.

[00:51:26] Hold on.

[00:51:28] It is now your turn.

[00:51:29] Effectively, when I rage, I have 108 hit points.

[00:51:32] You are...

[00:51:35] Still restrained.

[00:51:36] I still don't care.

[00:51:38] Attack again!

[00:51:40] Attacking recklessly.

[00:51:42] Claw to his face.

[00:51:44] Probably not on that roll.

[00:51:46] I attack again.

[00:51:54] 2D8.

[00:51:55] Yep.

[00:51:55] Pretty much how this game rolls for me.

[00:51:57] It doesn't matter how I build a character.

[00:51:58] In fairness, what is your total?

[00:52:02] That one would have been a 14.

[00:52:05] That one I was at least going to give you.

[00:52:06] AC 14.

[00:52:10] So second one, just yet.

[00:52:12] 7 points of damage.

[00:52:14] Second wins the...

[00:52:15] You get hit points back, right?

[00:52:17] The extra tech is what I was thinking, but I don't think I have an extra tech yet.

[00:52:20] Okay, carry on.

[00:52:21] Attacking recklessly is not a bonus, right?

[00:52:24] Uh, no.

[00:52:26] Attacking the second time.

[00:52:27] Neither is the second one, though.

[00:52:29] Or no.

[00:52:29] I'm thinking of something else.

[00:52:30] No, my turn.

[00:52:35] Pink will again attack.

[00:52:41] I continue to be totally wrapped up in web and just like pushing my fist through the webbing to stab through its soft body.

[00:52:48] Does an 18 hit you?

[00:52:50] It matches.

[00:52:52] It hits.

[00:52:54] Two damage.

[00:52:58] Jesus Christ.

[00:53:00] One piercing damage.

[00:53:01] Uh, wait, is there a plus to that?

[00:53:03] Two piercing damage.

[00:53:04] He's got a plus one.

[00:53:06] And then I need a con saving throw for poison again.

[00:53:11] Your poison sucks dick.

[00:53:12] Six.

[00:53:16] And not in the cool way.

[00:53:17] That's a single digit.

[00:53:21] That is 11 poison damage to you, sir.

[00:53:25] On top of the two piercing.

[00:53:33] Things do get a little harder to fight as this game goes.

[00:53:35] You're not...

[00:53:36] These things aren't hard to fight.

[00:53:37] No.

[00:53:38] I think you've had three lucky rolls.

[00:53:40] You're not actually poisoned?

[00:53:41] Uh, no, I'm poisoned.

[00:53:42] You are poisoned now?

[00:53:43] Yeah.

[00:53:44] Lucas said something about how I can't regain hit points and blah, blah, blah.

[00:53:48] I think it's if he hits zero.

[00:53:49] That's only when you hit zero.

[00:53:52] When a target is zero points, the target is stable but poisoned for one hour.

[00:53:56] You said something about hit points.

[00:53:58] You continue to remain poisoned even if hit points...

[00:54:01] No, you're restrained, not poisoned.

[00:54:03] Okay.

[00:54:03] Okay, whatever you say.

[00:54:04] Yeah.

[00:54:04] You roll the tape back.

[00:54:06] You are restrained.

[00:54:08] You've succeeded...

[00:54:09] I'm apparently not poisoned.

[00:54:10] You've succeeded in your saves against poison.

[00:54:12] You're not technically poisoned, you're just taking poison damage.

[00:54:16] Okay.

[00:54:17] Is it my turn now?

[00:54:20] Um...

[00:54:21] Sorry, Alex, go ahead.

[00:54:22] He's probably poisoned though.

[00:54:26] Uh, there's a difference between the giant wolf spider and the giant spider.

[00:54:32] Wolf spider smaller.

[00:54:35] 23.

[00:54:36] Hits!

[00:54:36] Definitely hits.

[00:54:37] Do some damage.

[00:54:39] Alright, let's use the hand axe.

[00:54:42] You only hit him with 11, so...

[00:54:43] So far.

[00:54:45] Uh, five damage there.

[00:54:53] But as my bonus action, I'm just going to use Misty Step Hang.

[00:54:57] Get away from you.

[00:54:58] Okay.

[00:55:00] Where would you like to go?

[00:55:02] Is it 30 feet?

[00:55:02] 30 feet.

[00:55:03] 30 feet straight up.

[00:55:05] 30 feet away from me.

[00:55:07] It is a...

[00:55:08] Troy can move your die wherever you want to go.

[00:55:10] Just let him know where you can move.

[00:55:10] It is a third, three-dimensional thing.

[00:55:12] You just shoot straight up.

[00:55:13] And I can stick to stuff.

[00:55:15] Uh, is there a tree branch above me?

[00:55:18] You're surrounded by trees and the canopy is not very high.

[00:55:22] I get as high up as I can away from this spider and stick to something because I can.

[00:55:28] And now I'm going to just start blasting it.

[00:55:30] You know, six feet off the ground.

[00:55:32] Damn, it can reach me.

[00:55:34] Those are some small ass trees.

[00:55:36] It's really thick canopy.

[00:55:38] Wait, how is it really thick canopy if it's six feet tall?

[00:55:41] No, no.

[00:55:41] We are ducking.

[00:55:43] We are ducking.

[00:55:44] You are ducking.

[00:55:45] Usually we use logic though.

[00:55:48] He just wants me to be within range.

[00:55:49] Have you been in a forest before?

[00:55:51] Not that dense.

[00:55:52] I know you're short, but like six feet is not that tall.

[00:55:54] I would nail my head on everything.

[00:55:57] Like my character's like six, seven.

[00:55:59] So I'm walking in a beautiful, sunshine.

[00:56:01] You're probably ducking through some of this.

[00:56:03] It is very, very thick.

[00:56:04] Right, but Misty Step, he would just apparate through it.

[00:56:07] This is also true.

[00:56:09] Now he may come crashing down through the leaves.

[00:56:11] I have no idea.

[00:56:12] You reappear with limbs through your gut.

[00:56:14] I don't give a fuck.

[00:56:16] You're in the tree.

[00:56:17] Move me 30 feet directly away from him.

[00:56:20] Just tell Troy a direction.

[00:56:22] Move it.

[00:56:25] That direction.

[00:56:27] The tree.

[00:56:28] That works.

[00:56:29] 30 feet.

[00:56:31] 30 feet at an angle.

[00:56:32] So let's just go straight.

[00:56:34] Careful, the tree trunks are so thick you won't be able to go more than six feet.

[00:56:39] That's perfect.

[00:56:41] Troy, what would you like to do?

[00:56:44] I want to hit this big dude.

[00:56:46] Try.

[00:56:49] I meant to look that.

[00:56:52] Smite thee, holy smiter.

[00:56:55] Smite me, almighty smiter.

[00:56:58] That's pretty good.

[00:57:00] 20 something.

[00:57:02] Yes.

[00:57:04] Roll down.

[00:57:05] Since I hit, I will use my divine smite.

[00:57:09] And I will use it as a second spell slot.

[00:57:14] Second level spell.

[00:57:16] Not my divine smite.

[00:57:17] Divine smite.

[00:57:20] So that is...

[00:57:22] You might kill it.

[00:57:24] In fairness.

[00:57:29] In fairness.

[00:57:29] 13 slashing plus...

[00:57:32] 12.

[00:57:35] What kind of damage is it?

[00:57:37] Radiant.

[00:57:39] You pray to a fish god?

[00:57:41] Yes.

[00:57:42] Well...

[00:57:43] Why?

[00:57:45] I was just curious.

[00:57:46] I was curious what your...

[00:57:47] Like your divine nature.

[00:57:50] Like when you called divine smite.

[00:57:51] It's like sunlight to me.

[00:57:52] It's dead.

[00:57:54] Okay.

[00:57:56] Well more than its hit points.

[00:57:58] Big guy's dead.

[00:58:01] You are still restrained, but it is your turn now.

[00:58:04] You can take an action to break free if you want.

[00:58:07] I want to break free.

[00:58:09] You have the guys pretty far away and you can't move.

[00:58:12] I throw a javelin at it.

[00:58:15] Lightning javelin.

[00:58:18] It's a disadvantage.

[00:58:20] I attack recklessly with a javelin.

[00:58:23] I thought it was only melee.

[00:58:23] I don't know.

[00:58:24] Pretty sure that's only melee.

[00:58:27] I'm like Lucas knows.

[00:58:31] I feel like after 10 years...

[00:58:31] I know, but if Lucas can sniff out the bullshit,

[00:58:34] you got to give him credit.

[00:58:35] I've learned some of the rules to this game.

[00:58:38] Going into our 11th year at this point.

[00:58:42] You got to break free to move, so...

[00:58:44] I don't want you to tell me what to do.

[00:58:47] He's wrapped up like a blanket.

[00:58:48] He can roll over there.

[00:58:50] How many Queen songs can we fit in this session?

[00:58:52] I want to break free.

[00:58:55] Probably all of them.

[00:58:56] Does it count if we refer to the same one multiple times?

[00:59:00] Nah, it's got to be a different song every time.

[00:59:03] I need a dexterity saving throw from that numbnuts over there.

[00:59:06] What do you got spells now?

[00:59:08] He's a smart barbarian.

[00:59:11] No.

[00:59:11] I don't say I have to even come close to throw a javelin of lightning at it.

[00:59:15] It's a single digit.

[00:59:21] 16 lightning damage, you bitch!

[00:59:23] It burns to a crisp.

[00:59:26] You're now out of combat.

[00:59:31] Restrain this.

[00:59:33] You're still restrained.

[00:59:36] Over a short amount of time, you can hack at it and break free.

[00:59:38] Thank you all for listening.

[00:59:53] The Big Sleep was written by Sandy Peterson and Jonah Baumgars.

[01:00:02] Music by Ian Chan.

[01:00:10] You can find us online at rancorsbrothel.com

[01:00:12] or join in the conversation on Facebook at Fans of the Rancors Brothel.