Sandy Petersen's Cthulhu Mythos - The Big Sleep 35

[00:00:16] Bancors Brothel presents The Big Sleep Umythos 5e Adventure.

[00:01:25] Oh, you're the rider now. Oh shit! It's your dragon. Hell yeah! Well, I ended the guy, so... Uh, it is Glenn's turn. Sorry, Alex's turn. He's not playing the game. So Glenn... Alright. How does the dragon react to the loss of its rider? Uh... Seems a bit confused.

[00:01:57] Good dragon! Do what those cats do, just like batting in the head. I mean, is it still hostile? Oh yeah, absolutely. Okay, then I'm tearing ass into it. Like it notices what happened, but it is absolutely fucking hostile. Okay. Alright. First one coming in. Shot! Is it not 20? That's good. Alright. See, and I was gonna come out and shoot the thing, but no.

[00:02:26] Alright, that is... First attack, 16 damage. Okay. Second attack. That is a 22 to hit. Hits. That is 15 damage. Key point dropped. Flurry of blows. Yep. Third attack. Um... Just because Lucas likes to do bullshit.

[00:02:56] As I'm attacking it, is it doing damage? Does it seem to be... Oh yeah. Okay. Just checking. It seems to be bleeding its own blood. Okay. 26. So what? 26. 12 damage. Last one. 25. Sure. That is 12 damage. Okay.

[00:03:24] I'm using my Eldritch Claw, so these giant black spectral hands are just tearing scales off this slimy bitch. Top of the order is Troy. You see this thing get ripped to shit. You actually wanted to play... It's okay. What would you like to do? I would have shot at it, but you know what? This is way better. Go ahead and step out and shoot. No, no. No, you're fine. Go ahead and step out and shoot. You held your action. Now you get to go. Do your thing. Congrats. Thank you. Step out and shoot.

[00:03:52] I can't top what he just did, but you know. Hey, every little bit of damage helps. That would be 24. 24 to hit. Son of a... 24 hits. For 11 damage for the first one. Don't you fucking do it. I hope he does. Don't you fucking do it. I hope he does it with like three fucking damage too. 12. I doubt that hits. 12 does miss. That's a lot.

[00:04:20] You're just ripping big ass pieces and you just happen to expose an artery and he just... He puts a little pebble into it. Gets out his sling. That would be fun, but I don't want to fucking... Hey, it's okay. I have nine lives. Today. Fireball. It's like, is this oil or is this liquid?

[00:04:49] So is it technically within reach of me now then? What's your reach? Five feet. No. It has reach. Okay. Yeah, I mean depending on where it's positioned, I could see it and you not being within five feet. That's fine. Yeah. No, it's a fair question because it's a big thing that we attracted into a small space. It's got a long neck. All right. I'm going to throw the trident. Again. That's fair. That's a better roll than last time. So it's a 25. Does it? Nice.

[00:05:21] Oh, it's max damage. Max damage! For 11. Right and it's left lung. It's not alive. Second attack. There's a 19 on the die. For not max damage. For eight. No, sorry. Six.

[00:05:53] And it is its turn. And as you can see this thing is just bleeding profusely. It takes the fuck off. Bye Flynn! I was going to ask for an opportunity attack, but I assume it's flying way too high above me. You're on the ground 20 feet below it. It was on the ledge. Yeah. No op attack for...

[00:06:24] He's not leaving Flynn's space. Flynn's on him. Yeah, no, no, no. He is my space. But he's got 120 flight speed. Flynn jump! I'll cast Featherfall. No, I'm going to finish this. He's coming with the dragon. I mean... 100 feet in the air. Flynn, what do you want to do? I want to beat his ass. So let me know when my turn is. It's your turn. We'll just come back around to you. Because nobody else can reach him at this point.

[00:06:53] That's not necessarily true. Does he fly straight up? No, he will fly straight up and towards that ledge that you... So he does leave the room. Oh yeah. Okay, well you just said he just flies. So yes. So who's next in the turn order? Technically it's you. I can get... 20 feet will get me out the door. Yeah. Can I see Flynn?

[00:07:22] Can I see him flying down there? He's got 120 feet fly speed. So I don't know if you can reach him with anything. Well, I mean it's good. It takes either one of us 20 feet to get out the door roughly, right? So then he flies 100 feet. Is there enough light? Can I see him 100 feet away? He's 100 feet from the door basically. Yeah. Yeah, you can see him. I don't... Can you throw a javelin that far? I believe so, yes. Or at least a disadvantage because of the distance?

[00:07:51] Could recklessly attack and it would be flat. Javelin is 120. There you go. So a flat roll. Yep. I just throw a javelin. I don't have any more lightning javelins left because Lucas gets mad when I throw them, so... I just... This guy is crushed underneath him and I just turn and I'm pulling a javelin and I just hit the door and just wing it as hard as I can. Uh... Yeah, it is flat.

[00:08:22] 23. It hits. See, now I could cast Capello and do all of these two feet too far. Make him come back. Well, it's 30 feet range. So even double move, that's only 90. 8 damage. How many d6 per feet? 10 feet? First 10 feet is free? I think I got him. It's 1d6. But see, that's the thing.

[00:08:50] If he spent all that fly speed going horizontally, he couldn't have gone up. He had to have gone up and then over. So what I'm saying is... I will put him 30 feet in the air. Yeah, it's 30 feet. The first 10 don't count as 2d6 damage. Flynn's gonna be perfectly fine. I think it's d6, not d10. It could be d10. It's d6. So that's 9 as you land on the ground as this thing slams. How long was it?

[00:09:18] You fell like 30 feet. Okay. So, ability, land on your feet when you fall. You can use your reaction to right yourself before you land. If you fell less than 60 feet, you treat the fall as 10 feet shorter for purposes of damage. So, 1d6. Reducing damage by 1d6. Yep, so it would be 1d6 of damage. Well, then we'll go with a 5 as the highest die that I rolled. So, 5 damage. Okay. Because he's a cat. As I see the cat lumber up from this mess, I just like, I got you.

[00:09:47] I go, I wish monster. This is a game that I wish monster lore was in, like it is in Shrewdvang. So you can actually figure out what this fucking thing is. Dead is what it is. Aside from that. Real dead. Because it's a cool creature. But, yeah. Wouldn't that just be nature then? Yes. I guess it didn't take this game, it is nature, isn't it? Yogg-sothothothory. Actually, I will give you Yogg-sothothothory. Alright, I can do that. Because it is a mythos creature. That is 16. It's a nat one on my Yogg-sothothory.

[00:10:17] That is not good. It's ugly. We killed Bokrug! What did you say? 16. It's a thing called a Shantak. Oh yeah, it's a Shantak. Yeah. But Shantaks aren't, eh, whatever. That's what it's called. No, no, no, I just, Shantaks aren't, I know what a Shantak is, it's just I wouldn't, it's cool, he's using mythos lore and I enjoy it. Yeah. It's not what I would think of as a Shantak though. In fairness, the description is not the same as the picture. No. What's the description?

[00:10:45] It's not hugely different, but it is not the same. Because he, like, it describes a couple of less limbs and- Did you show us the right picture? Yes. This is the picture next to the Shantak. That's what it is. Well, there's another word there, so I'm making sure you didn't show us the one that- The ecology, it tells you about the ecology of the Shantak, yeah. Yeah. Sort of similar, but not- It's like horse-like. Well, I'm pretty sure Shantaks are what you ride to meet Azathoth. Oh!

[00:11:14] Um, also known as Shantak birds. Yeah. Huh. These things are only bipedal. With extra- First, he says a Shantak is large. Nope. No, it's not. According to the stat block, it's huge. Um, as big as an elephant weighing two to four tons. Alfred considered a bird, although though it has scales, no feathers. Elongated snout. Um, resembles that of a horse more closely to an iguanodon.

[00:11:43] Uh, they lay eggs. Um. Yeah. Got it. The secrete a thin sheen of slime as an insulator. Protective coating. Uh, it says it has four limbs, two legs and two wings. I'm gonna bring that again. Which is incorrect based on this picture. Yeah. Still a cool picture. This is like six limbs plus wings. Because, I mean, yeah, that's a- Yeah. It's more of a wevern. And that's exactly what it says. It's more like a wevern. But this picture is very much different than what the description is. I like the picture more.

[00:12:13] The picture is pretty dope. Taking licenses. Yeah. I don't know who did the art in this book, but it's pretty awesome. Actually, I can probably- I was just saying, I'm pretty sure inside the book they will tell you who did the art. Typically. Secret. So, given that the shaman's kind of- That's good. I'm gonna guess the boss. Anything neat on him? On his, well, both remains anyway? Helge Blazer. Well, Helge Blazer did some work. Additional art by Richard Long. Oh?

[00:12:43] Dick Long. Luang. Huh? Luang. Yeah, that's what I said. Dick Long. Dick Long. Any loot on the fucker? Good question. Let me open up this other book. Because I'm guessing that guy kind of gave off boss vibes. I would hope so. Yeah, maybe. One would think. At least mid-boss vibes. See if the cat got something cool out of it, because he did the most damage to that dragon.

[00:13:13] He's got a big brass key around his neck. Oh, he can't carry that. I can hold on to that. His hide armor looks slightly nicer than standard hide armor. He's got a big armor. Um... And that's really it. Other than that, he would have, like, materials for spell casting. Hmm. Yeah. Did we find anything besides the big key?

[00:13:39] Uh, he, the shaman was wearing hide armor slightly better than normal hide armor. Slightly... Crushed... Hide armor. Yeah. Also, you tried to kill me again, Lucas? Go fuck yourself. I tried to kill all of you. You just happened to be the one that stuck around. Yeah. I'm not backing down to all five foot two emo ass of you. There's that Tom Petty again.

[00:14:07] Don't get turned around. Buddha. Won't. That's cool. You guys are standing partially above and partially below and way the fuck out there on the ground. What would you like to do? You've looted the bodies. I go pick up my javelins. There are two, one laying that way and one laying that way. You found a key and hide armor. Does anybody want the hide armor?

[00:14:36] I think we all have better stuff than the hide. At least those of us who can or will wear armor. If you were to take the time to identify it, it is plus one hide armor. I cast identify on it. It's a 10 minute ritual. You're fine. I'm hand waving it. Whatever. Throw it in the bag of holding. We'll sell it later. Sounds good. Hope you guys should keep track of what's in there because... I have no idea. I thought...

[00:15:05] There's a ton in there. I'm just gonna make it up one day. You're absolutely right. There's a lot of things in there. Hundreds and hundreds of gold. It's a good thing you've written it all down. Where the hell did these... Including the entire total of your gold pile. Where did the hell did these... That is written down. We do have that written down. Where the hell is the plus four Vorpal greatsword come from? That's amazing. It's been in there. An amulet no one can use. There's a book no one's read. Yeah.

[00:15:34] There's a scroll that nobody can use. Yeah. So, to be fair, we've basically been in initiative all night, Lucas. Yeah. No, you're out of initiative. What do you wanna do? Medic! That would be... We could rest and hopefully level up. What is this... We're down here basically at the bottom level, right? So is this just a tunnel going left and a tunnel going... We're down as low as we've been. Right. We're not necessarily down the lowest level.

[00:16:04] There's... Where that arrow is at, it's up. That's a sheer cliff that you have to climb. If it took the time to go around, you would also find another sheer cliff and you would see those little slits where the archers would have shot down at you. You've not gone this way at all towards me. Let's go towards Lucas. Well, do you wanna stop and rest? I was gonna say, do you wanna do that first? Sure. Long rest, short rest. What are you doing? We'll go in the little pit and... Long rest. Okay.

[00:16:37] That's how long rest... I mean, I'm at nine hit points, so you guys do what you want. Okay. Long rest it is. You get your hit points back, you get your whatever spell slots probably. Key points. Javelins, recharge. And then yeah, we'll venture out and go... South. We'll call it south. He didn't have anything cool on him else, did he? Like any robes or ornamentation or... Just the bronze key.

[00:17:08] Okay. I grabbed that. He has a key to a room or something that you guys have not yet found. Treasure chest, treasure chest. Um... Enough gold to Scrooge McDuck swim in. You are headed south. Sure.

[00:17:33] You pass through a narrow canyon mouth and come out in a low grassy meadow dotted with craggy stones and patches of wildflower. Steep mountain walls give way to gradual slopes, fading away into rolling foothills. You have passed through the Iglofen Mountains and come out safely into the kingdom of your teeth. Safely. Wait a second. We have a key to something that we've not used. Back into the mountain!

[00:18:03] You go back into the mountain. Unless you have a way to give us that treasure chest immediately, we're gonna be in here for a minute. So you have to make a decision, Lucas. Where do you wanna go? Wherever the hell this key goes to. Where do you wanna... I'm not gonna tell you where the fucking key goes, where do you wanna go? You would save us all trouble. Are there any obvious routes that we would know of that we haven't gone down? There was a door inside of the room with the skeletons you did not open.

[00:18:32] A door inside the room with the skeletons. So is that where the necromancer raised them? Yes. The jars. That's not that far back. It's basically up the stairs. Yeah, no, I was just making sure if there was anything obvious that we the players had forgotten about. That the characters having experienced this in about a span of 45 seconds would not have forgotten about. Pretty sure that's the only door you've not yet opened in this entire camera. That sounds like a good door to open. Treasure room! Open it.

[00:18:59] You open the... into a... Empty, wet, dank room. Oh, it's dank! The door was unlocked. The key did not fit it, by the way. This small closet is filled with mundane objects. Rode up hides and furs, old tapestries, hanging from the walls, empty storage, amphora, furniture, and the like. Fart. It's a Jander's closet. It's odd.

[00:19:28] It's a room full of tapestries? Yeah. What kind of tapestries? Depicting various things. You see that same creature that the statue was made of, which was also painted on a wall in a throne room you saw way back. With the weird throne. You see... You see Shantak flying. Green cultists sacrificing individuals. Why are they in here? Why aren't they on the walls? They are on the walls. Right, but they're in a storage closet.

[00:19:59] Yes. Why? Detect magic. That's a good shout. Hmm. Hmm. Because these are ostensibly symbols of the cult that resides here, right? I mean, maybe it's an old place and they took stuff over and then, you know, shoved it. You detect nothing magical. Aside from the things you are wearing or carrying. Take it back then.

[00:20:28] Spend the slot. I, um... Pull back the tapestries to see if there's anything hidden behind any of them. Any doorways or secret passages. We don't have a rogue, so... I'll just face check things. Behind one of the tapestries you do see... Um... On the south wall... Concealing what does appear to be a stone door.

[00:20:56] About a two-foot diameter brass disc set in the center. It's shaped like a monstrous maw. Put the key in it! Key! I'll toss you the key. As you put your... You hold on. Two seconds, please. I turn and look at each of you. Stand back! Please continue now, Lucas. Are you doing the key then? Yeah.

[00:21:26] Because I'll face check the damage. You put your hand into the maw where you do find a keyhole that fits this key. This guy hurt as fuck. And you can see above and below your arm these incredibly sharp brass teeth. Off hand, please. As you turn the key, it clicks. And it opens. And bite your hands. Had you not had the key, absolutely, it would have triggered the trap. I pull my hand back and kind of like tuck my arm in.

[00:21:56] Haha, joke! It would have absolutely... Bit your hand almost entirely off. Um... What room is this? Like you guys need it. What's in the magic room? Welcome to a treasure room. Welcome to a treasure room. And that's why we always use every key. Call it treasure room. Scrooge McDuck! Scrooge McDuck! You find a basket with bars of gold. Jesus! Worth how much? A piece? Just keep reading the narrative, that's fine. Let's just go...

[00:22:26] We'll get there. Another basket containing just pieces of gold, silver, and CP. A small table. A small... Pornography! Split it back! A small table displays an array of gemstones and art. Uh, three... Well, you see three blue-green zircons. You see seven small garnets. And an uncut garnet. Um, you see a silver queen from a chess set.

[00:22:56] Just by itself. A chalice, carved from black and white striped sardinox. Which must be a type of rock, I assume. Gemstone. An ancient bronze canteen, studded with blue jasper. How long does the tech magic last? How long does the tech magic last? Because it should still be up. It's ten minutes. This is a magic jar of some kind. Pour it out! Does it have mayonnaise in it?

[00:23:25] You want it to be an alchemy jar? Oh, great. Would you like to identify it? I think mayonnaise real hard. I open it up and I turn it upside down. Yeah. It's clearly magical, the jar. Does mayonnaise come out? I identify the jar. What is it? I want to know. Functions as a decanter of endless water. A decanter of endless water. That could be fun. That could be very fun. For the last ten minutes, Cyrus has just been holding it upside down.

[00:23:57] There's an inch of water down in the room. He's waiting for mayonnaise to come out. Don't start to drown. It does also say this can serve as a safe place to long rest, but you've killed everything already. I can rest again. Because we're thorough. I just cast it to tech magic. I need to slap it. Yeah. The amount of treasure in this room is obnoxious.

[00:24:26] It's 58 gold bars. Two pounds a piece worth 100 a piece. Huh. 58 gold bars. So that's 5,800 gold. I mean, this is the kind of gold you have to amass in order to actually buy magic items. Yeah.

[00:24:44] The basket contains 243 GP, sorry, 2,430 GP, 3,205 SP, and 691 CP. Oh, God. It's fucking stupid. No, it's not. It just has to be fucking converted. Yep. What was the silver? 3,205. So that's 3,205. So that's 320 gold. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:25:14] And then 691 copper. It's like 7 gold. And then we add the items. The gemstones, again, three blue-green zircons worth 50 a piece. That's another 150. Seven small garnets worth 75 a piece, and the one uncut garnet itself is worth 1,250 GP. The silver queen is only worth 25 GP. We might want to keep that just because. Hold on to that silver queen. Yeah. It seems an odd.

[00:25:44] Who wants to hold on to it? I'll do it. The chalice is 2 pounds heavy. It's worth 400 GP. 2 pounds? Yeah. For a chalice? It's made out of some sort of gemstone rock. I don't know. Let's say if it's a goblet that's encrusted and, you know. I don't know what sardonyx is. I assume it's some sort of lava rock maybe or something. It's fancy. How the fuck do you spell it? S-A-R-D-O-N-Y-X.

[00:26:13] I see the word onyx, so I assume it's lava rock. It does sound like sardonyx. It's a variety of the silica mineral, what's it called? Chacinidae? It's fancy stuff. Historically, two of the most widely used semi-precious stones. Really? Yep. Sard looks nothing like onyx. It's spelled sardonyx. Well, it's spelled sardonyx. I understand that. I'm looking at it. It says black and white striped. So it is a variety of black and white striped version of whatever you're looking at now.

[00:26:44] It's kind of cool looking. Here is some images of sardonyx crystals. Oh, cool. They're really stripy. They're fancy. It's kind of like Tiger's Eye, but... I mean, I guess they come in a variety of different colors. The only one at this table that had a rock collection is good? Yep. Founded them up here in Spatic the other day. It was part of the 4-H project, actually. Some of those things are pretty fun, though. Yeah.

[00:27:13] So that was all the treasure? That and the decanter of endless water? Yeah. Which weighs two pounds... Sorry, no. That was the other thing. Does not give a weight. It's bronze studded with blue jasper. I'm keeping it. They're not selling that thing. It'll do you too much fun later. Now, would you like to go out the south door? Now that we've got all the treasure, let's proceed. You pressed to a narrow canyon mount. Okay. We did open that big door to let giants come in, right? We left it open. Okay. Yeah.

[00:27:44] Just in case. So now you go into the meadow outside the thing. Oh, it's a meadow! Fresh air. Very nice. Thank you for writing that all. It is getting dark again. Actually, it's probably very dark again at this point as you've rested so often. But you do notice the sounds of footsteps and what sounds like chains. Rage. Let's do this! Day's almost over. I gotta use them.

[00:28:13] And as you kind of look around, you see a... What looks to be large, but is in terms of its stat blocks medium. A very wide, scary looking, vormi-like creature that somewhat resembles these statues and paintings that you've seen inside the cavern. Okay.

[00:28:41] Behind him, on chains, are five individuals being pulled with shackles around their necks. Humanoid? I think it's a shackle. Yes. I think it's technically a collar. A collar around their neck. Fair point. Collar around their neck, pulled by a chain. Shackles go around your legs. All chains in one hand as they are being pulled. Not necessarily dragged, but pulled along.

[00:29:11] Hmm. And this creature stops and looks at you. And just sort of grumbles. Don't start with us. I grumble back. Brrrr! Yeah, I just gotta... We've been through some stuff. We're kind of not in the mood. Brrrr! Brrrr! Brrrr! Brrrr!

[00:29:33] From its belt, pulls a very long spike that he seems to tether these chains through and slams it into the ground so that only about a foot and a half of it is stuck out. So that these individuals cannot run away from their new position. And takes a couple of steps forward, cracks its neck, and smiles.

[00:30:04] I've seen used car dealers. What are you talking about today, bud? What are you selling? What are you selling? People! I'm selling roll initiative. I believe I had said rage. You did say rage. You did. I'll send you a picture of this guy. Is that the right picture? It is. Kinda fucking better be, it's right next to the stat block. And it's just the one person?

[00:30:34] Mm-hmm. Huh. Interesting. Very interesting. Uh, so what? Does in fact look like a vormi on steroids. Long claws, bat-like features in the face. Trunk-like legs. Look real fun when it's dead. My teammates just killed a dragon.

[00:31:03] I think we're okay. Um... The first thing you all have to do before you give me your initiatives is roll a wisdom save for dread. Um, by the way, anyone who took dread before for the other creature, you can erase that dread. Uh, cause that creature just dead. What am I rolling for dread? Wisdom save. I rolled a one, so... Probably good. One level of dread, sir.

[00:31:32] Shouldn't have erased that one level of dread. Yeah, sorry. 20. You're good? 20! You're good? Sorry? 75. That's really good. That was a really good roll. Good job. What is it? Wisdom? Yes. 20 on the die. You are good. For some reason only the ghoul is...

[00:32:02] Show offs! Why can't you just get dreaded? Cody, what's your initiative? 8. Let's get all dreaded. 14. 14. Alex? 16. You suck. Show off! I have to do something. You guys can outstrip me on damage almost every day of the week.

[00:32:32] But on support skills, I think I got the edge. Alex, you get to start the initiative. Alright. Just for shits and giggles, we'll go ahead and put this out here. Are you gonna draw us a field? You're the artist. I'm gonna make sure you know where he is versus where you are. So...

[00:33:01] Pinata tactics. Break out the sticks? Stand around him and beat him with a stick until he goes down. That's strategy number one. He is a medium creature. Um... But you are kind of in a meadow. It's sort of... You're sort of in a corner. Almost a pie shape. So he has no cover. So he has no cover. Yeah. Uh... Bonus action. Hit him with the hundred's mark.

[00:33:32] And I'm gonna shoot him. Shooter! Uh... That is... I saw you flip that die with your thumb. Let me roll again then. Yeah. I can live with that. 10. That is a mess. I can live with that too. Attack again. Yeah. So you get two attacks, right? Yeah. I attack again. That is a 19. That is a hit. Fantastic.

[00:34:03] I'm pretty far down, right? You are dead last. I'm gonna go get some soup. There it is. Alright. That is a 10. And because he has the hunter mark, he gets a d6 damage every time I hit him. So that is 12. That is just piercing damage? Mm-hmm. Uh... It does count as magical for damage purposes though. Okay.

[00:34:32] So if there's any like, I can't be hit by anything but magical damage, it is magical. Um... It is his turn. Cool. Yeah. This is um... It's another three-tiered multi-attack. Claw bite. Kitty cat. Why? I have done nothing. You killed the dragon. He doesn't know that. 24 hits, I'm sure. Mm-hmm. 12 slashing. Okay. Make a strength saving throw, please.

[00:35:02] Oh, that's not my good one. Two. Nice. Nice. Next attack on you is an advantage. Not that he needed it. Two 17s. Okay. Um... He hates cats. Who, Lucas? Yeah. 11 more slashing. Okay. Lots of guys do for some reason. I can't say I'm a big fan. It's like all of these armored brawny people.

[00:35:32] He's just gumbling the cats. I always found it interesting how guys seem to prefer dogs and girls seem to prefer cats. Such a strange thing. You mean cats are just kinda smelly? Like, dogs can be smelly too, but dogs tend to pick up... Cats are so fucking annoying. Like, dogs kinda pick up the odor of wherever they're at. Yeah. So I never think about my dog being smelly, cause my dog just kinda smells like a dirtier version of everything the smell is around here. 23 piercing. My last three girlfriends all had cats. Okay, I'm down.

[00:36:01] It's so weird. How many times did he hit you? Three. All three times. Knocked him out. Cat is down. Cat is down. Oh no. As this creature looks up at the other three of you. I can beat this cat. I can beat you too. Did you really think beating up a pussy was going to intimidate me? I come out of unconscious and say, hey. Hey. I go back into unconscious. Troy. Just enough to feel that slight. Troy. It is up to you.

[00:36:31] You are silver. I think since the beginning of this game. There you be. Oh. You thought the Shantak was the boss. Huh? You thought the Shantak wasn't the boss. This guy's a little more deadly. I'm going to bonus action. Thunderous. Smite. You beat up the cat. It's so good.

[00:37:03] Goes after the person with the lowest hit points. 22 to hit. Goes after the person with the DPS. Exactly. 22 to hit. Does. Still hilarious. Cinematic. I'm going to show off how many of a badass I am. I'm going to beat up the smallest cat. This tiny cat. Let's say it's like the Undertaker ran over, sees Kane, Big Show and fucking. What was that dumbass Dudley? Crash Dudley? No.

[00:37:32] What was the little, little person? Spike Dudley. Spike Dudley. Crash was Holly. Oh. Thank you. He just goes over and proceeds to just beat the ever-looking shit out of Spike Dudley. Do I believe? I believe Crash Holly's dead. Yeah, he is. RIP to a real one. That's 10 slashing and 8 thunder damage. You need some of that.

[00:37:59] And I need you to make a strength saving throw, please. Is the slashing magical? Yes. Okay, so 10, you said 10 slashing? Yes. That's one way to tell us. And then 8 thunder. 8 thunder. Okay. Strength saving throw, please. Strength saving throw. Nat 20. Looks like I've been saving my good dash for this battle. I randomly rolled this yellow die.

[00:38:28] I haven't touched all night. You know, it's what happens when you just pick up and roll your dice instead of having ones that have fucking skulls and thorns coming out of them. Just roll the goddamn die. Second attack. I rolled almost every d20 I had tonight. Is an 28. Does hit. And I'm going to call down my divine smite. Lucas did call him a boss, so. So it's 26 damage. 15 of that is the slashing if it makes a difference. Okay.

[00:38:59] Is it still slashing from a magical weapon? That is the question. Huh? Where'd the slashing come from? From my weapon. And your weapon is a plus one. It's a plus one. You defeat damage reduction if that. I won't, but you do. Else? Is that it? Does it math right for me? Hold on. Does it math right because it seemed too high? 12, 18, 21. I said.

[00:39:28] You told me 26. 26. Which is pretty high. Okay. Yeah. That's right? Yeah. Okay. I said he really blew his load on that, so I feel like that's a pretty solid. The other damage is radiant if that matters. So 11 of it is radiant. Yeah. You good. Uh, man. It doesn't go. Ah, shun the light. Flynn's down.

[00:39:58] Um, death saving throw then? Yeah. First death saving throw in this game. Womp, womp, womp, womp. Thirteen. Pass. Uh, Cody. Watch out. Watch out. The cat's down. Meow. You're barking up the wrong tree, my dude. He's your cat. He is. It is my cat, and I'm real mad, and I have already raged. Yeah. So I'm gonna step up on him. Step up.

[00:40:25] And recklessly attack, because that's how I roll. Do it. Let's see which of us has more hit points. Ah, here we go. That is a 22 to hit. Still hits? I hope so. Uh, no, that damage. Seven points of damage? Halved? Is that the half, or is that the... No, I'm, I'm, you, you have your own damage. Okay.

[00:40:52] I know you told me he has damage reduction, but I'm gonna pretend that I don't know he has damage reduction. I'm gonna attack him again. That is a 24 to hit. Okay. I'm not superstitious, but we'll trade out that D8, because it's not been doing great. Choose this one. That's better. Uh, nine points of damage. Okay. Action surge. Hit him again.

[00:41:21] That is a 26 to hit. And another 14 damage. I don't think there's anything else I can do. Alex, tap the order. You don't happen to have a potion, do you?

[00:41:48] Of the people around here, I feel like you are most likely to have a potion, so I figured I'd ask. Not something he would want to drink. Not something that heals you. It's a fair point. It's a little bit spicy. It's an alchemist fire. Do you feel any better? Let's just say you don't want to drink that. Alright, nevermind. Just thought I'd check.

[00:42:17] Can I stabilize him though? Yeah. See here. It's a medicine check, I believe you'd destabilize, right? Oh, I thought he'd just... Don't worry about it. Do your thing. Don't worry about it? Well, the guy's in melee, so I'd be at disadvantage for attack, so that's why I'm like, okay, might as well do something constructive. That's fair. That's fair. Uh...

[00:42:47] Yeah, I'll see if I can stabilize him. See if we can get the DPS guy back up. Do you remind me what the DC is on that? I haven't done this in a while. Uh... I don't know. It's like... I wanna say like 12 or 15, it's not much. Depends on how high your medicine is. Not high, but I'll try anyway. Yeah, but you get modifier plus, you know what I mean? Like it's... Yeah, it's not proficiency unless you're proficient in medicine. Which for a few of you probably are.

[00:43:17] I don't know. What are we working with? Um... Oops. 10. 10? Uh-huh. Alright. I can meet 10. I cannot meet 10. You cannot meet 10. He is not stable. Even with your modifier, it's not a 10? No. It's a really low roll. Alright. My save was two, so I'm like... You go in there and start scooping up Flynn's blood and trying to pour it back in his face.

[00:43:46] That is your action, sir. I can look at that. I tried. I tried. Close to him, did you see? That's okay, too. Flynn, I'm gonna roll a d6, buddy. Okay. That's not the roll. I didn't know I wanted to roll. Yeah. Let me make sure. Let me read this side. Let me read this side and make sure. I don't know. Frollo knows he's making rules up. I don't have any idea. He's salty about the dragon.

[00:44:17] You didn't even kill him. I mean, you did most of the damage, but... I got the jar lit almost all the way off. That's right. But I took it off. I got the satisfying... Yep. ...when it came off. Yep. I got the out. By hurling a fucking javelin almost max distance. That's like an Olympic level throw to take that dude out. And I caught him in the tip of the weenus or something. I think some sort of like weird bullshit has happened to you. You've risen up as his slave. You're dead automatically.

[00:44:46] I mean, you're incapacitated. You're down. Yeah. Yeah. Um... Any attacks should be on the... I was trying to be fair in this game and roll a d6 and roll a 6. It's not a legendary action. I just wanted to give myself a fair chance because I was like, oh, this is like a dick move. Nope. Rolled 6. Um, on a d6. He picks up the cat and eats it. He's so mad at the cat!

[00:45:13] He gruesomely devours a dead or incapacitated creature, a medium or smaller size, destroying the body entirely. Okay. And regaining 5d8 hit points. How does that... That's an action? It's called Grizzly Feast. But it's an action. Yeah. That's interesting. Well, we don't have to worry about the cat anymore. The cat... Later, guys!

[00:45:42] The cat is fucking gone! Thank you all for listening. The Big Sleep is written by Sandy Peterson and Jonah Baumgars. Music by Ian Shannon.

[00:46:16] You can find us online at rancorsbrothel.com or join in the conversation on Facebook at Fans of the Rancors Brothel.