Sandy Petersen's Cthulhu Mythos - The Big Sleep 38

[00:00:16] Bancors Brothel presents The Big Sleep U Mythos 5e Adventure.

[00:01:25] It's a 23 mile, well 23 miles straight to Geltoni's, either way. In a coach it's basically 4 miles an hour. Is that right? Yeah, 4 miles an hour because it moves at a fast pace. And going by these lines, it would be quicker just to cut through the land. It's entirely up to you.

[00:01:54] But like, the river is... one would think the river is faster, but... Well, let's just go to the next place and see what bullshit we get into and how we set that place on fire and decide which way to go from there. We have not torched this village yet. So... I think we're doing pretty good all considered. You turn and look at Cyrus and he's like already got a torch lit and is putting it on their powder keg.

[00:02:24] Only after they give us the horse and carriage to transport this nonsense because I am not carrying urns full of ooze for miles and miles and miles. That's what I pay people for. Miles and miles... Alright, well it's morning. We're going to scam them out of breakfast and then we're gonna... In 6 hours we'll be at Geltoni's for dinner. Um... For that authentic Italian deep dish pizza.

[00:02:55] Uh, the priest does offer you, if you wish, to uh, to come pray at any of the, uh, of the deities, if you like. Flynn needs to be here for this shit too. Um... One of you smart fuckers needs to be reading the book of Ibon. We can read that on our brand new carriage once they give it to us. Cause he owes us one. I gotta go back and read, uh, look at the read book rules. They're not too dissimilar from Call of Cthulhu, but they are.

[00:03:25] It's extensive. Like it takes a long time to read stuff. We've got time. To be fair though, I imagine all magic books are like Finnegan's Wake. Possibly. In Latin. Um... Translated. Not a bad book actually. Not that I gave... Not a good book. His name is Mahali. It's very much of the time. Uh, his name is Mahali. Are you sure it's not Maholi? Yeah.

[00:03:55] Mahoney. I mean Maholi would make more sense as a priest. Mahoney. Uh, but if you, if you would like to, if you would like to go, um, pray at any of their, uh, any of the deities. So Galdun is there, which is that, which is sort of the main, um, deity that you've seen. You saw in the other city as well, the, uh, the sun emblem. Patron of the sun, sky on life.

[00:04:24] Um, he, he will tell you that there is a statue of Saint Zalane. Uh, Saint Jolovna, Saint Berthold, and Saint Ferreuthus. Um, Feralthus. Zalane is, um, a Yetivian deity of horses and strategy. Um, Jolovna for tricksters and travelers. Berthold, um, is an Axfane deity for knowledge and protection.

[00:04:52] And, uh, Verothus is, uh, Danton, is a Danton deity for soldiers and law. So these are the shrines you can pray at if you wish. I'll just go sit in the back. Sure. He'll introduce you to his husband, Botond. Who is the assistant priest. You can have a conversation if you wish. Not praying. Not a character from, uh, Star Wars. I don't know. B-O-T-O-N-D, Botond.

[00:05:22] You're thinking of Botond. You're thinking of Botond. Yeah, that was the gag. Uh, I will, uh, sit in the back and, uh, sketch one. Whatever the most interesting deity statue is. Lucas wouldn't know what that is, so just, that's fine. Lucas the artist can't immerse me in sketching. They don't give me images of them, so I don't know what they look like. Sorry. It's probably Galdun, because it's probably the most intricate.

[00:05:54] It is sort of the empire's god. Alright. Um, would either of you like to pray at either of the shrines? Do I get anything out of it? Probably. Peace of mind. I think that's what he's hitting at. Yeah. Nothing of them sounded exciting to me. I'll, uh, go to the Axfain one. Uh, same birth old? Yeah. Sure. Um, uh, you... Whichever one's the knowledge one, I'll go to that, I guess.

[00:06:24] Uh, it's the same one. Um, the both of you then receive a boon. Um, for an Arcana or Yogg-Sathothry check, which would be an advantage roll. Is that Arcana? Arcana or Yogg-Sathothry. Whichever you wish to. I don't have any of your demon knowledge. So, like, you don't have to make the roll right now. Oh. It's in the future when you make an Arcana or Yogg-Sathothry check, you get... Oh. You get an advantage roll on it. Okay.

[00:06:54] That's the boon. Coo, coo, coo. Got a magic serpent paintbrush at some point, apparently. Yeah. It's dry now, but yeah. Yeah. Still use it on the sketch. Yeah, I mean, you probably washed the... The paint out of it. That was actually kind of a cool little thing that you didn't use. So, it doesn't really matter anymore.

[00:07:22] Basically, the, uh, it's... I can tell you about it now, because it's kind of fun. The... You could have actually used it as a weapon, and it would have done poison damage. The paint was infused with their venom, because it was a snake creature. So, it was kind of cool. I'm just collecting a lot of paint stuff. Making some sketches. Yeah, no, you're... Painting watercolors. You're an artiste. Well, we got four urns of ink-like substance you can use outside. Truth.

[00:07:50] Um, after a few hours, the, uh, coach will approach the, um, the village. Few, few individuals will get off. They kind of swap a few small pieces of, uh, cargo here and there. Um, kind of looks down at you and says, uh, where are you headed? So, they want us to leave the urns with them? No, you can take them with you. He's asking you where you want to go.

[00:08:19] Why would we need to ask this guy to go anywhere if we have a wagon of our own? We can go wherever we want. Where do you want to go? You're not taking their wagon. You're using the coach. That's the option. These are poor people. They have one wagon to the entire village. They're not going to let you take it. Why not? I asked nicely. Sure. He's holding his gun up. I ask nicely. And they let you stay in their village.

[00:08:49] They're not going to let us. Not that it did anything good. How many children would you have to kill? Uh, get on the coach and go to gel Tony's and tell them we want a big pizza pie. That, that village elder better give us a voucher or something for a free one. Cause you get a coupon for gel Tony's. No, no. We're getting a full on voucher for a free pizza. Or else this village is going down.

[00:09:20] You read the book. I can read the book. Good. I look forward to seeing how it goes. We have the book of Ivan. Do we have another book? Do I? Wait a second. Do I need Yux Thothory or whatever that is to read this book? No, you don't need Yux Thothory. You just need time. Well then, hopefully I don't go completely mad. Cause that seems like that'd be a very... That seems like a recipe for disaster. What can we throw in this show? Sounds like a recipe for disaster. Do you like for Leemond?

[00:09:50] That was a form of spawn by the way. Flash. All the best, all the best movies had an entire Queen soundtrack. Oh, acquiesce to your comment. I really want to go watch that now.

[00:10:12] I'm going to go get hammered in the backyard watching Flash Gordon with a fire on the like, you know, whatever that size screen is. It's my 20 foot screen or whatever it is. I need some fucking speakers though. Dreadtrip. Dreamlands. Dump, dump, dump. That does boost the experience. So we eventually gave up and got on the carriage. So what are you looking at?

[00:10:41] He's looking for you to read the book of Ivor. I can appreciate that. Do I need to do any checks or just time? You'll have to do checks. You will have to do checks. Against what? That's what I am confirming. Just see. I would hope so. Comprehending the nuances of one of these texts is a challenging process of research that uses the following rules.

[00:11:03] Every mythos book has an ability check DC, which represents the intricacy or confusing nature of the book contents and a save DC, which reflects the dangers of investigating the topics in the books for the mortal mind. To research a specific topic or question within a book, you must succeed on an ability check using one of the skills or tools listed in the book's entry. Each book also has a minimum DC for ability checks using that book. An ability check is to learn or recall information with a higher DC. Use the higher DC.

[00:11:31] Attempting an ability check to research a text requires an uninterrupted eight hour period of research. I don't think we got time. Which can't be made with a passive check. Each eight hour period of research on the same question grants a cumulative plus one bonus to the ability check. If you stop researching a given topic in the same book for 30 days or more, you lose any relevant bonuses gained for researching in that book thus far.

[00:11:57] One additional character can use the help action to assist a primary researcher if both characters have their own copies of the text or another text in the same topic. The helper must assist for eight hours to grant primary researcher advantage. You guys don't have that. You only have one copy. Succeeding in an ability check to research reveals facts as normal for a successful ability check. This information might be incomplete or misleading or simply reveal the book.

[00:12:24] This book lacks the information that another book has. That's how they get you to buy the sequel. Sorry, but another book has it as appropriate for the topic and the text in question for every five points by which an ability check exceeds the DC for their details on the topic if any are revealed. If the researcher rolls a 20 on the D20 for an ability check, an additional relevant fact is revealed.

[00:12:49] Conversely, if the researcher rolls a 1 on the D20 for an ability check, the check is automatically a failure. And any dread resulting from that research check increases by one level. If the researcher's saving throws fails, see below. Risks of mythos research. Every research check made with one or more mythos books exposes the reader and anyone providing aid to concepts unhealthy for moral minds to contemplate.

[00:13:18] Regardless of whether the ability check succeeds, each reader must make a saving throw against dread. The save DC of this dread is either equal to the text listed in DC or as normal for a disturbing discovery relevant to the topic being researched. Whichever is higher. Because disturbing material permeates each text, no topic can be researched that avoids this risk. Except in very unusual circumstances, entirely at the GM's discretion.

[00:13:48] The dread from this research lasts until the character finishes two long rests without gaining dread in between the normal duration for the disturbing discovery. Whichever is longer. Non-combat experience. Researching one of these books can provide useful experience for characters and the GM is encouraged to award experience points, which we're not doing in this particular thing so it doesn't matter. Whether the character is acquired dread and sanity or resist it.

[00:14:15] I will also take bonuses to stats in place of experience. Right. So you guys are on a 23 mile ride to the Jail Toonies. And if the cart you said goes about three and a half to four miles per hour, that'll give us at least six hours. Right. But you need eight hours. And I'll just keep reading. Completely uninterrupted.

[00:14:45] Uninterrupted thing. I'll just sit in the parking lot until they find a place to sleep. I don't mind. Um... Tell them to make sure the trip takes eight hours. Yeah. If bandits decide to attack the cart, these guys will take care of it and I'll just keep reading. It'll work itself out. I have faith in them killing things. They haven't let me down so far.

[00:15:14] The only one who has is dead. Completely separate from my expectations. What am I rolling on? Um... Arcana, history, or Yogg-Sethothory. The ability check is pretty high. Would I be able to use my boon? Yeah. That's what it's for. So it gives you advantage. Get booned!

[00:15:44] Might as well. I'll roll on Arcana then. 18 plus... 25? Without the boon? Uh, that is a success. So I didn't have to use the boon. Yay! So I succeeded! Hooray! What's it do to me? Well... Because I know that's this kind of game. What's it do to me? You succeed, something bad happens. You fail, something worse happens.

[00:16:13] So what you find is... This book contains formulas, which are that other type of spell. Mm-hmm. Um, and a handful of other just spells that you've never heard of before. Do I get any? Uh, you'd have to take the time to learn spells. Well, apparently I'm using eight hours to read. Does that count? Or is that... This is called Cthulhu. Eight hours just allowed you to, like... Comprehend what you read.

[00:16:42] Comprehend the index and the chapters. So to learn the spells will have to take extra time some other place. Yep. At least I have a month to do that. It's written by the... I might pronounce this wrong. Antediluvian. Antediluvian. Antediluvian wizard, Ibon. It's one of the strangest and rarest books of the mythos, apparently. Contains accounts of the many deeds and events of Ibon's life, as well as those of his contemporaries in ancient Hyberborea.

[00:17:11] But also recounts his oft fearsome and compelling prophecies. He traveled distant worlds, dealt with Cthulhu face to face, and wielded powers so impressive that they lingered in lore and occult tales for tens of thousands of years. But you see formulas for... There's a formula for bind Byaki, contact formless spawn, elder sign, and lure Byaki.

[00:17:40] So do I get those? You don't get them. You have to learn them. But you see that... You comprehend that that's what's in this book. Those are some sweet fucking titty sprinkle spells. I will... Write that list down again. We'll have to go to formulas because it takes time to learn formulas. Just shut up and tell us what the spells are, Lucas. The book also contains the following spells. Cursed slumber, lethargy of Sathagwa, sign of Ibon, transport to Yondo, and vourish sign.

[00:18:08] I might need to have a photo of those later so I can write them all down. If one of these spells is on your class list, you can learn that spell in place of one of your spells known at the same or higher level exceeding an Intelligence Arcana check to research a new spell. This is well worth it because there's some cool shit in there. If you have the Mystic Arcanum feature, which I don't think you do... No, I do not. But I'm sure I can get it at some point. You can lose one ninth level Mystic Arcana... You're never going to get there. Nope. Eventually, you can lose one ninth Arcana...

[00:18:36] Sorry, one ninth level Mystic Arcanum spell to gain cursed slumber in its place by succeeding an Intelligence Arcana check to research the new spell. So basically, for all of these, you're going to have to always succeed in this seemingly high DC that you did succeed on. It is over 20, but you'd manage to succeed on it just to comprehend the book. So that's what's in the book. So those are things I can learn if I succeed again. It will take time.

[00:19:04] I will have to go to formulas and see how long it takes to learn a formula. We would like the list. Oh, do you want the list again? Yes, because you read through them so quickly. I was listening for a few key ones and you hit on a couple of early chords. How about you photograph the list and put it in the chat so we can review that later? That's what I was going to do and now I don't see my phone. Probably under the book. Where'd you hide it? Is it in your pocket? Are you sitting on it?

[00:19:30] Because I will touch base with my cohort, my cohorts here and figure out which one we want me to learn later. Oh, I'm not touching your base. I appreciate that. All right. I don't know if you want me to cheat or not, but there's like four solid ones on that list. None of you would have any idea what any of these things do. I don't know that that's accurate though. Well, I can always learn them later. I'm a mythos survivor.

[00:20:00] He's not going to give up. Oh boy. Learning spells exclusively as formulas. A formula spell can be learned exclusively as a formula. Learning that this way doesn't require you to spell the character's cast list or even the pack magic spell. Basically, it's going to be used as a ritual. It doesn't need to be scribed into a spell book.

[00:20:27] It doesn't count against any limited number of spells. So basically, it's a free spell without costing you a line in your spell book or spell count. Learning the spell exclusively as a formula requires a variable amount of time depending on how it is learned. The formula is learned from hidden clues or from independent research into alien sciences. The process takes 10 days per level of the spell.

[00:20:57] Learning from detailed instructions as included in any mythos tomes takes four hours per level of the spell. In either case, the researcher must succeed at one of the formula's ability checks, researcher's choice of which. Failing the check means the secrets of the formula elude the researcher's understanding, though the researcher can try again. So it's going to take a very long time and a lot of checks to learn just one spell out of this list.

[00:21:23] You said four hours from the book for each level of the spell. The process takes 10 days per level of the spell. But if you keep reading, it said if it's from a mythos book, there's a different timetable. Oh, sorry. Learning from a detailed instructions. You're right. This does not give you detailed instructions. Well, I guess it would. It's a mythos tome. I guess it would. It literally said. He's learning the spells of Ibon from the book of Ibon. So four hours per level of the spell. So it depends on what spell you're trying to learn. So.

[00:21:52] In which case I will have to give you the level and it will take you that amount of time and you have to succeed. We're trying again. Every four hours for every level. If you fail once, you start over. Well, yeah, that's why you said it's at every level. It's four hours. So if you keep on going. So like what was one of those spells? What was one of those spells? What was one of those spells? What was one of those spells? By Ibiaki, I think. Yeah, it's a fifth level spell.

[00:22:20] So I would just need to take 20 hours to learn it. And succeed 20 times in a row. Five. Five times. No, also not. Also incorrect. Also incorrect. It literally says in either case the researcher must succeed at one of the formulas ability of checks. So each level I would have to check again. Every four hours. So at each level would be four hours. I would need to succeed that check or have to do that check over. Four hours per level. You're reading it correctly.

[00:22:49] I'm saying at each level I would need to do a check. And if I go to the next level, I would need to do that check. I do not have to succeed sequentially. Okay. But to move to the next level, I have to succeed at that level's check. So for example, since you said that was a fifth level spell, I would need to succeed a check for four hours. Do the next check for four hours. The next check, the next check, the next check. I don't have to do them and succeed each time, but I would lose four hours for each one I fail.

[00:23:19] So the time would take longer. So to get the fifth level spell, I would need 20 hours minimum. Longer if I fail sequential checks. So we just need a lot of time and I need to be reading this book a lot, apparently. Yeah.

[00:23:45] To get some of those spells to make them into the formulas. Well, it's a good thing we have at least an eight hour trip for our first leg. So. Well, I got that part and that's where we learned the spells. And now we're at the town, I guess you said we're at the town now. So for the next leg, I'll guess I'll just be reading another chunk of the book of I bomb. Um, after we do whatever we're doing here. Yeah.

[00:24:14] You guys reached your Tony. It is a pizza time. Comedy is 90% time. Wise men always say. We pay full price for late pizza. Yeah. Yeah. He did deliver it to a drainage. Um, he got what he got. So this is just a village.

[00:24:41] So it's not, it doesn't have the accommodations that a town would have, but it does have a way station. You can get a mug of ale. You get some food. You can get a, you know, you can send a messenger out for some reason you needed to. Uh, these are the options that are in this area. Do they have a blacksmith or an alchemist? No, that would be more than a town. This is just a village. Basically it's farmland. Damn. With a way station where they kind of on load and offload cargo and people and then continue on their journey. These guys are useless to me. Where's my pizza?

[00:25:11] I want to send a messenger out. Where to? I don't care. Just send them out. Fuck off. Your town has one less messenger. He just runs up on you, right? When you're about to fight a dragon and you're like, motherfucker. So essentially with the formula, I think what they're trying to do is make ritual magic more ritualistic. Hmm. And also have much more dire consequences. Whether failed or succeeded, there are usually consequences to it.

[00:25:45] But yeah, it's a much more detailed ritual for sure. But more than one person can aid within it as well. Like a group of people can do one ritual. I could always use another minion. I would presume that from the looks of it, from what I could tell you, spend the hours needed on the spell.

[00:26:09] You make one of several checks, you know, learn that spell, but now you know you have to do three separate checks. You have to get three successes on several different types of checks and they're very odd and spell specific. So I won't look at them specifically. But one of the spells that you have on that list, you have to like make a wisdom check of X and then you have to play a woodwind instrument check of X and then you have to do something else check of X.

[00:26:42] So it's really up to you if you want to take the time then to learn the rituals. Well, what I would argue is he has to make an ability check to learn it. So if he spends 20 hours reading it, we say, okay, here's kind of what it does and here are the three checks. And then he makes one of those three checks to learn the formula. Right. But I don't think he has to make five checks. No, I think you're correct. I think it is one check. Because there's some some you're correct. Some spells are multiple checks to succeed in the ritual.

[00:27:13] It says everything takes three successes or three failures, which some you have to see. Some can be aided on Tuesday. Yeah. You have secondary casters. So I could play the woodwind instrument. He can make the wisdom save and you could jerk off the horse or whatever. And we could make the spell work. That's the important part. I think I'll have the DM jerk off the horse. He's been a bit of a pain in the ass today. It's a spell called come and go. Anyway. Mr. Hands.

[00:27:46] If there's anything else you'd like to do in this village otherwise. You said there was nothing to do here. No, it's just a village. It's a stop off. I mean, like you guys could rest here. You just you don't have. They can basically put you on a hayloft. That's the best they can do. But you can rest here if you'd like. Someone has a home here and we're taking it. At this point, you've taken a long rest by writing in the coach so you can get your health health points back. But it has been it has been eight hours.

[00:28:15] My random encounter role was trash. So nothing happened this leg at least. You're a random encounter. Where would you like to go from here? The next village. We could we could rest for the evening if you wanted to look at the book somewhere. Is it it's coming up on nighttime? I mean, I assume we left in the day. We had to wait a couple hours.

[00:28:43] It took six hours to get here like it's nighttime for sure evening. I mean, it's 430. It's dinner time. I can read more of the book. I mean, because quite literally if if if you have to know the level of the spells theoretically. If you spend the evening working on it, it was what four hours per level. Hmm. Is there a level one? Is there a level one? There are level one spells.

[00:29:09] I know, but there are any of the spells unless you want me to seriously metagame and start looking everything up Lucas, which I can do in the wrong book. Sorry, I'm answering texts at this. I'll just make a little tab of any of the spells I'm picking up from the book of Ivan for later. Because it's buying Biaki, which I'm sure is high contact formless spawn may be low elder sign either way. Lure Biaki is probably easier than bind. Elder sign is lower by Biaki where he says fifth.

[00:29:40] What were the others contact formless spawn? Why would I want to do that? You probably get you probably like learn shit is the same as elder sign. Well, which is level three. Okay, so those are all level three. Lure Biaki. Lure Biaki is also level three. Cursed slumber.

[00:30:11] Is that one of the formulas or one of the spells? I think it's a spell. There's a difference between the formulas and the spells. But contains the following. Yeah, I'm only looking at the formulas. Oh, so he can only learn the formulas. Right. Well, yeah, because he's not a wizard. He can't put a spell into a spell book. I think I have access to spells. Right. I have a lot of spells. That might be in the DMG to learn a new spell.

[00:30:37] But if it's not on if it's not something that's on a spell list you have access to, you won't be able to learn it. I don't know what his spell list is because it's in there. That's fair. And it does tell the list. Sorry. What was it called? Well, what's your? I do. I have Bard and Cleric and I have I have the spell class. I know, but I don't know what his I don't know what his classes. What's your class? Artificer. Artificer ain't gonna be fun. That doesn't help. That's not gonna be in here at all. Let me. What is Artificer based off of? Artificer. I am checking to see exactly. Well, you learn no spells. You can learn formulas.

[00:31:07] Nah, you're not gonna. If it's not based off of somebody else's list, then you're not gonna learn it. Bard, Cleric, Druid, Paladin, Ranger, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard. Everybody's spells are my spells. Making things hard on me.

[00:31:45] Probably a select spell list, I would guess. Hmm. I don't imagine that you have. Yeah, you have your own spell list. Such a pain. Yeah, that's how it all works. So you can't learn any of those spells. Although there are Cleric spells, Troy. That's nice. There are Cleric spells. I mean, there are spells for every class except for Artificer.

[00:32:14] I'm not a Cleric, so... Are you Paladin? He's a Paladin. From the very beginning. Still a Paladin. There are Paladin spells. I just don't know if any of these are on your list. I doubt it. Nope. There are not very many. The answer is no. There are literally three. Looks like I might need to take Warlock bubble. Or a Wizard bubble. You can multiclass however the fuck you want.

[00:32:40] But one level of Warlock, you only have access to probably first level spells. So if it's a higher level than that, you're going to have to continue to build Warlock. Warlock would give you access to one of the spells. Hmm. Well, there you go. Is it a good one? Lethargy of Satagua. Which I think I used against you once and it wasn't that useful for me at least. Ah. Warlock. Both under Warlock.

[00:33:07] Lethargy of Satagua and Mist of Raleigh is our first level spell on Warlock's spell. I'm looking at how the build goes farther up. Oh, you're looking way out. I gotcha. But yeah, but what I'm saying, one level of Warlock isn't going to get him that spell. No. So essentially you have some thirds and some fifths you can learn as formulas. Yeah. You're not going to spend 12 hours overnight doing that.

[00:33:35] So unless he's going to let you do, which it doesn't seem like he's going to a few hours tonight and then travel time tomorrow. Well, if it's a multi-level thing I can spend four hours tonight on one level and then do some more labor. I mean, don't see why that would be a problem. Uh, what was I doing?

[00:34:01] Depending on which formula would be most useful to us. I mean, I know which one would be, but at least have a good idea. So you said Elder Sign, Contact Formless Spawn, Contact Formless Spawn, and Lure Biaki are all thirds and Bain Biaki is fifth or were there two fives and two threes? No, that is correct. Bain Biaki is the only fifth. Okay. So Contact Formless Spawn, Elder Signs.

[00:34:27] The other fifth level, Bain Biaki, Bride of Sathala, or Call of Cthulhu. So essentially for 12 hours, it's Contact Formless Spawn, Elder Sign, or Lure Biaki. Which one's least likely to kill me? Uh, well, one is contacting a Formless Spawn and the other one is bringing a Biaki to you.

[00:34:53] Uh, I think I'll put those to the side and maybe do Elder Sign? I would say. It's the word contact and the word lure. I was reading bind. Yeah, yeah, no, no, no. There's a reason why those are two separate spells. You know, binding is basically commanding one. I will. I am aware. I'll wait to do lure until I can do bind.

[00:35:14] So for the moment, I'm just putting, dipping my toes into this pit of madness and I would like to know what's least likely to take my foot off. Elder Sign. Elder Sign. Then I will start studying up on Elder Sign. Um, yeah, a failure to those failures on that one are levels of exhaustion, which aren't great, but are probably the least, uh, worst thing, um, so far.

[00:35:43] So I guess we want to go. So like Troy pointed out that the overland route is, or is everything on this red road or all of these caravans? Caravan accessible, caravan accessible or people on foot probably following the route. Yeah. Well, but the reason why I'm asking if there's caravan is cause I don't want to walk on foot. It's hard to read and you're in a coach. Right. But does the coach go wherever we want it to go? Uh, down the red roads.

[00:36:12] So the answer to your question. Yep. It is accessible by what we're using. Yes. Yes. Theoretically, I think Troy is actually accurate. It's probably better to cut right through the middle than to go down the river because the river is not going to be any faster. Hmm. So we should, after spending the night in Jeltanus, we should then go to Tipicar. Hmm. Uh, maybe stay for a few days. What stat am I studying on for Elder Sign since I know I need to tech? It's the same as the book.

[00:36:41] So it was Arcana. Arcana. If Arcana was your best, you can use that. Well, he just needs to, he needs to make one of the checks for Elder Sign. But it's after, what was it? 12 hours of reading. Yeah, you gotta read. You gotta read. It was 12 hours of reading. Oh, okay. Then I'll start now and read more on the road. Uh, 12 uninterrupted hours or 12 hours? Cause the book itself was uninterrupted. I don't think the spell was uninterrupted. It said four hours per level of the spell. Yeah, it was just 12 total. Not, it didn't say whether or not it could not be interrupted. There we go. The book itself to comprehend had to be uninterrupted.

[00:37:11] I can live with that. Let's roll with it. So read a little bit last night. Good night reading. Very soothing. Cause it's 26, it's 26 miles to tip a car. So that's like six hours. Plenty of time. As you guys make your way, I guess, southwest to tip a car. Mm-hmm. Random encounter.

[00:37:44] Fingers crossed. Yeah, but kind of luckily one of the not so bad ones. Is it the, oh here it is. Oh man, I want to make sure. You guys come across a halfling caravan. Is that like a red rider? Uh, basically it's a caravan of halflings who are stuck in the road. And are actually asking for some help. They're, uh, one of their wheels is broken. They need some help getting the new wheel on. Do they have breakfast? Second breakfast.

[00:38:15] Good. Hope they share. I just go over and lift the thing up. Oh, thank you so much. Oh my goodness. Um, you know, you help them, you help them get their wagon back together. Um, I just flipped the shit out of the road and keep our caravan moving. Yeet that fucker. If it lands up right side up, great for them. If not, it sucks.

[00:38:39] They do have, uh, they do have goods if you're interested in anything and they're, they're willing to purchase things from you as well. Um, as they are merchants. Anything you wish to sell is half market price. Anything you wish to buy is 75% market price. You get 25% off. So what do they have in the ways of black powder ingredients and iron?

[00:39:07] That's probably a simple material to acquire. Um, so I imagine you could purchase some of that. I will buy up as much as you let me. Um, it's not in front of me. You'd have to look up the price on that and do 75% of that price and just dock it from your thing. Either. I don't know if that's a DMG thing or if that's a component list in the player's handbook. I don't know. I don't like playing with components.

[00:39:33] Um, yeah, but he's trying to do right by making his things. So I appreciate it. Um, they've got ponies. They've got, uh, give me time and I'll give you the numbers. Uh, one of them pulls out a sling. It's a very nice sling. Um, we have ointments here. We have, um, you ever want to go invisible? And he pulls out a little vial. It's got some dust in it. 400 gold. He shakes it. They only have a handful of things that are like cool shit.

[00:40:03] Otherwise it's standard guts. How many halflings are there? Quite a few actually. I've never heard of invisible fairy dust. It's a, it says it's a band of halflings. It's a caravan. So it's multiple, it's, it's multiple carriages, but one of which you had to help. Two guitarists, a lead singer, a drummer. It's 3d8 commoners, 1d6 guards, tunes. Yeah. So like it's, it's quite a few people. Mm. Just the white stripes of caravan. I've got of.

[00:40:33] The white stripes are only two people to know. You could roll and end up with two. It's 3d8. So it was going to be at least three. Damn. Plus 1d6 guards. Who taught him math? And then three other individuals. So. So it's the arcade fire of. It's the arcade fire. It's the arcade fire. It's closer to the slipknot level of people.

[00:41:02] But yeah, they'll try to sell you things as well as buy things from you if you want to make money off of shit. Brian Seltzer Orchestra of Caravans. Seltzer. Nope. This is Brian Seltzer. All right, gel Tonys. Cops of trees. Um. Fizzy drinks. Fizzy drinks. Seltzer just sounds better.

[00:41:31] Who doesn't want to go see somebody who's playing swing music who calls himself Brian Seltzer? I mean that. As long as they're handing them out, I'll go to it. It sounds like, uh, oh, uh, the God, what was the guy name? Oh, Richard cheese. Uh, if you guys want to buy anything, you're fine. You can move on. Nope. Uh, can't think of anything that I would like to do. They didn't have any magical items that would help us on our quest.

[00:42:02] Uh, he tried to show you dust that could make you go invisible. Um. See, I just thought you were being an idiot. No. No, that's a thing of dust. You said a vial of dust. Yeah, he said it will help you go invisible. That's why I said I've never heard of invisible fairy dust before. Yeah, no, but I just thought Lucas was, was being dumb about a glittery potion. No. Potion of invisibility I don't give a fuck about.

[00:42:30] Powder of Benghazi I do kind of care about, but that's okay. Well, that's not what we're calling it. We're calling it dust of disappearance. All right. That's why he will tell you what it is. But if you have no interest, no problem. 400 gold. What? 400 gold for that vial. 600 for some restorative ointments. 500 for a nice, nice sling. You want a nice sling? No.

[00:42:53] Any need of a pony? 35 gold. A pony? A pony? It's like a pack meal basically. It's so full of shit. You would use it as a pack meal, you can't ride it. What game is? I don't use that. That's come up before. Powder of Ibn or Ibn Ghazi. Yeah. It, you sprinkle it on you, it makes you invisible. That's been used.

[00:43:25] One of the Call of Cthulhu games. Excuse me. Dust of Disappearance. That's what they're calling it in this game, sorry. No! There's literally a spell, I just saw it on the list, called Powder of Ibn Ghazi. Maybe it was a gag. There was something we played where we... Fuck, what was it? I know that we brought that up before.

[00:43:54] Anyway, are we continuing on? You're not buying any Dust of Disappearance? Do you want to move on? Not if you're going to call it Dust of Disappearance. That's what it's fucking called. Okay, so if we calculate that out, it should come to about... 30 gold for everything I need. That's fine. Just knock 30 gold off of your total gold. You got your shit. Off our millions of gold that we have. No, you guys have way too much gold.

[00:44:23] There are people that should have paid you that I haven't paid you because it's useless. The Fairy Dust is you got only one vial of that? It's one time use. It's got four of them, one time use each. It's 400 gold a piece. I don't know how much money we have. Give me a nice. We've got... You got Buku gold. Yeah. You could also give them a gem or something. Yeah, knock another 1,200 off.

[00:44:52] You have our gold listed. I don't have a gold list. That might be in the moleskin. So just make sure you note it down and tell... Not Troy. Tell Troy. Tell Flan when he gets back. I mean, I actually... Yeah, technically... There's well more than 1,200 gold in your backpack. It's fine. All right. So that should give us enough to make about 12 grenades. Nice. All things gold.

[00:45:22] It's one of those video games that's got like a level. You can only have six. That's it. Give out the other six between these guys. I'm giving you shit. We will all have at least three grenades. I hate it when there's a cap on shit. Although finding ways around that cap is a lot of fun. It's like, oh, wait. If I upgrade this particular tree, I can carry... You can only make three at a time or have three at a time. Oh, no. He's just blowing me shit.

[00:45:50] I made 12 because that's all I... Because I'm sure that's about all they had on them. So I made 12 grenades with what I bought. Sometimes I appreciate that for like, you know, the Resident Evils where you have a case that you fit your shit into, you know? I like it. All right. So you got three vials of dust of disappearance then? Is that correct? That's what he said. You said 400 apiece, 1200. 400 apiece. That's for the police. Yep, yep, yep. All right.

[00:46:20] Because enough works. Unless it's imaginary. As you continue down to typical car... We should give them another six hours total travel. Yeah. I guess I'll be... Reading? Uh, the caravan suddenly... Not the caravan, sorry. The coach suddenly just... Like... Rushes to a halt.

[00:46:49] I'm reading here. It's the opposite. Rushes means speed. Thank you. It stops, skids, and the... The docks. The docks. The, uh... The driver kind of bangs on the side and says, uh, guys... Um, and if you poke your heads out, you will see that a band of serpent folk are, um, headed toward you. We're not getting paid for this.

[00:47:16] Thank you all for listening. The Big Sleep was written by Sandy Peterson and Jonah Baumgars. Music by Ian Shannon.

[00:47:46] You can find us online at rancorsbrothel.com or join in the conversation on Facebook at Fans of the Rancors Brothel. We'll be right back.