Brothel DnD - Out of the Abyss 112

[00:00:00] The Rancors Brothel presents A Dungeons & Dragons campaign Out of the Abyss You guys ready? I mean, no. Do you think we've prepared? Lucas, did you read your spells? Nope. We're good to go. It's all the confirmation I need. Awesome. Lucas, hands throw to your show, Lucas.

[00:00:50] So where did you guys end? Did you actually transport back to Neverlight Grove or...? I think you realized at that point we were potentially making incredibly dangerous decisions and you were kind of leaving it ambivalent.

[00:01:02] We wouldn't have gone back to Neverlight Grove. We would have gone straight back to the tower. Correct. There's no reason to go back to Neverlight Grove. Oh, straight back to a Raj. Yeah, there wouldn't be a reason to go back to Neverlight Grove. Gotcha. Gotcha. That makes sense.

[00:01:16] I thought you left people at Neverlight Grove. No, we left people at Neverlight Grove when we branched off to Aramaicus. The idea was they were going to follow us to the next... Did we leave people before we got into this area? Because you had people. We did.

[00:01:34] At Neverlight Grove. People are definitely being left somewhere, Jeff. Yeah. You could go back and listen to the recording, but I think people are being left not at Neverlight Grove but outside we got, before we got into the dangerous part of the maze. Correct. Okay. Just curious. So...

[00:01:51] You did, though. Yeah, you grow a mushroom. You teleport back from... I mean, I'm sure that I could send to someone from the group to tell them what we're doing. Hey, bro. Yes, you could. The real question is...

[00:02:06] We had to get out. We had to GTFO real fast. You should start walking. TTYL. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, the real question is like... Are we going to leave them outside the maze and are we actually coming back for the maze engine? In the future or not?

[00:02:28] You have a mushroom here. It depends on whether I'm going to survive what we're trying to do. I mean, that's true. I mean, ultimately we want to go back to the wizard and talk to him first.

[00:02:37] Well, we want to go drop off the reagents at the very least. Correct. Yeah. And he may have better ideas or ways for us to travel maybe quicker. Right. Yeah, I have a question. Yes?

[00:02:49] How long is it going to take that group to travel from where they are now back to Erej with the out assistance days? I know. I want to know how many.

[00:02:56] Because are they going to be stuck in the middle of traveling and we need them somewhere in the near future? You left them back in between Neverlight Grove and the spiral of the Horned King, right? So... Allow Jeff to count the hexes.

[00:03:12] He will need to take off his shoes and use his toes. About a month. Camp out, we'll be back. About a month. It's about 10 hexes from right in between Neverlight Grove and the labyrinth to Erej. Right. And it's about three days travel per hex.

[00:03:32] Yeah, so there's no point in them traveling back. And that's provided they are like gung-ho, we're doing nothing but marching. Yeah. Hang out if you don't hear me send a message to you in two months. Head back to Erej and head home.

[00:03:46] That is essentially what I'm going to be sending. Figure out how to survive in a room. Hey bro. We got to do some serious travel. Hang out for a bit. We plan on being back in two weeks. If you don't hear from me, I'm dead.

[00:03:59] Head back to the tower. Bro? Bro. Bro, bro. If we don't hear back from you within two weeks, we'll head back to the tower. Set timer to send a message in two weeks depending on where I'm at. But yeah, I think we...

[00:04:19] Because knowing us will forget to send a message. By the way, I can't see the sun. Let me know how many days that is. No, just count. One, two, three. It'll be... it's like Kieran. It's 14 sleeps. After you have to sleep 14 times.

[00:04:39] I haven't done this a whole lot. I should have done it way more in the last fight. I don't. But roll me a D100. Just him? Yeah, because he's casting a spell. Fair's Rest. Yeah, the Fair's Rest is especially thick in the labyrinth.

[00:04:56] He said that a lot and he just didn't do anything. So I just kind of let it go. 92. That's not a good roll. You were going to a Raj. A fortuitous event. Who's got the card? This went off on the sending. We used that already.

[00:05:11] No, that wasn't for the sending. Well, you're not gonna pick and choose which spell I have to roll. I wasn't doing it for the sending. Okay. I don't trust you. I wouldn't.

[00:05:21] No, I was doing it for when you do your travel by plants because it's kind of like a teleportation. And let me look that up. I'm not sure what that roll does. I'm not sure I want to do that up. Why don't we just...

[00:05:38] These aren't the droids you're looking for. Hand off the pawn, dude. The null survived, right? Yeah, you rivivified him. I'm sending him first. We don't need him when we're gone. We're going, we don't need nulls. No, you're lucky. Teleportation works better the higher you roll.

[00:06:04] I wasn't sure if it was higher or lower. Gotcha. Glad we cleared that up. Yep. It's good to know. I mean, I haven't had you do it anywhere else. It's just that it is especially thick here. I told them to count to 1,209,600. That's when they'll know.

[00:06:23] It's how many seconds there are in two weeks. So you get back to Arash. What are you doing? Handing off the feathers. The feathers, the garistro heart. Yeah. I don't remember if there was anything else you got.

[00:06:37] It was just those two because we'd made a jump back from Neverlight with the Icar already. Yep, that's right. Were those the last pieces we needed? No, the last piece we need is Grom's... ...Boundray spellbook. ...Boundray spellbooks, which is why we planned on going to Luskin. Almost there?

[00:06:51] Oh, it's a maze engine that we need to go back for. Yes. Well, the maze engine is a side quest. It's not a necessary thing. Don't you guys want to go fight Bathamut? Not particularly. Not if you're only throwing magic mist.

[00:07:05] You know what sucks is that company that I did that artwork for, they had to... The miniatures, Wicked, something. I showed them to you before. He had a bathmate that sat like this fucking tall, massive. Yeah.

[00:07:20] And he had to give refunds to everybody because he couldn't afford after the pandemic to have everything made. So now we got made. Interesting. Wicked foundations. Did you get paid? I got paid. It's all a matter of money. Because I did the work.

[00:07:34] But he had to shut the thing down afterwards. Yeah, so we're telling the Saren, hey, we only got one left. Right. What exactly are you telling Vazara? Well, you gotta phrase it like that. Because I want to know. We're telling him that we desperately need to go to...

[00:07:53] Luskin. Minsk. Where is it? From Milan to Minsk. Minsk will be free! It's at Luskin. And time is precious. Really? Why? What's in Luskin? Gromp. You literally see his ears perk back. Like, huh? You need a spell book, right? Where's your spell book? With you.

[00:08:20] Where's his spell book? I would think in his study. Well, Gromp is not in Menzobrenzan. Gromp is in Luskin. How do you know where Gromp is? An angel told me. Interesting. But the vision was only like seven days or less. So the time is of the essence.

[00:08:40] If he's in this tower that I saw in Luskin... That's in the middle of construction. That also bothers me if I'm going to be honest there. Wizards building towers? Evil wizards building towers. We should show him how to build a tower quickly.

[00:08:56] I know you've got a history roll to recognize the city. You guys can give me a history roll to see what you know about Luskin. Nat 20. White Dot. Let me get my card! Oh, you weren't kidding about the... No, I wasn't.

[00:09:18] When I had my Twister Knight back, it's one of my most important Delta Green dice. God damn it! You didn't shuffle these cards. No, I'd been taking off the top and setting them aside. A fortune of circumstance!

[00:09:30] This may manifest itself in many ways, including the same shit we've handed you forever. God damn it! There's a duplicate. No, Jeff, there are four of them, but Jeff put them all on the top so he didn't have to deal with our bullshit.

[00:09:43] He didn't say he shuffled them fairly. I haven't shuffled them since we started. They have sat there, and I've been pulling off the top and setting them aside. So, Nat 20, you know that... You recognized it as the host tower of the Arcane.

[00:10:02] It's the home of the Arcane Brotherhood, and it hasn't been there in almost a century. This is not making me feel any better. It hasn't been there in almost a century? Yep. About... I can't remember if it's a little over or a little under 100 years.

[00:10:21] So there used to be a tower there. In a Brotherhood. It disappeared for 100 years. It didn't disappear. Yeah, a lich snapped a staff of power in it and wrecked it and most of Luskin. So you have... No any liches? Um... Lich please. I have a question.

[00:10:43] We've been gone for a significant amount of time. Are the items that we sent the assistant on to find back yet? Roll me a percent die. Call in higher or lower, it is rolling. You wanna roll it? No. He doesn't have any bone percent dial dice.

[00:11:02] I told you, I knew it was gonna be a fucking useless... Really? Get him out of here. That guy waited for us to teleport away and just ran to the surface with our money. I thought he was dead in the men's opron and alley somewhere. God that's funny.

[00:11:22] I don't even remember what the hell you asked for. I asked for a staff of the woodlands and a shield, a high level shield. All of us asked for stuff. I didn't. I figured it was a fucking fool's errand. Yeah, I don't remember what I asked for.

[00:11:39] I rolled a 12. You rolled a 12 just now? The percent roll was a 12. Okay. Because I was looking for a... We'll say that Grinn is back. I'm going to give each of you a 20% chance to see whether or not they had your item.

[00:11:57] Since I asked for two items, I get to roll it twice, right? Correct. You wanna roll below 20. I don't know that your character... I don't know if my current character is there. Troy's current character definitely wasn't the character. Sort of. Sort of. Was it Trogdor?

[00:12:17] Yeah, but I keep thinking that this is not Trogdor, but this is sort of Trogdor. Yes, it was. You said it was what was the percentage that we were trying to get? 20%. Okay, if I get it he just has something for me about that.

[00:12:32] Since I didn't ask for anything specifically. 40%. Nope. I know you're bad at math, Lucas, but that is in fact not under 20%. That is a two on my plus four shield. A plus four shield? Mm-hmm. How much does a plus four shield cost?

[00:12:51] It was less than the numbers that we gave you originally. Because I went to... We also have a fucking cash line around. Jeff is not happy with shit. Oh no, I don't give a shit. Uh, buh buh buh buh. His AC's ridiculous anyway. It's not that ridiculous.

[00:13:09] We're like level what 13, 12? Your AC doesn't matter when you get polymorphed into a toad. It doesn't. Right. I can do that. I got that. It's useful, Lucas. Thank you. Is it prepared? It can be. It doesn't work that way. I don't remember where we went.

[00:13:25] Hold on, hold on, hold on. Don't hurt me. Give me a day and then let's come back and fight again. What was it we used? There was a... I felt like we were looking at a book. We were. I'm looking it up. What I was uh... The discerning...

[00:13:36] Merchant's Guide. Yes, discerning merchant's guide. I thought somebody wrote them all down. No. I just have a list of our swag. Oh what we were looking for? Oh wait a minute. Yeah. Bracer or flying daggers, plus two shield. There is no such thing as a plus four shield.

[00:13:55] Staff of the woodlands. This is plus two. According to this. There's a plus... The highest plus is plus three. Oh that's what I mean. It was a plus two shield because shield gives two and then a plus two. Oh okay. Yeah. Plus two shield.

[00:14:08] I apologize it was a plus two shield. Yeah. My bad. That makes more sense now. Yes. My bad. I was adding... That's like 100,000 gold. No I was adding the magical plus two on top. He means a plus four total. So four thousand. Yeah.

[00:14:23] I mean I think we at one point... You got your plus two shield. I have 15k gold not including all the other shit that we've got. Yep. So... 23. Let's go. So anyway, yeah.

[00:14:40] So if he's building a tower of the Magi or whatever I'm going to assume that that's real bad. He's rebuilding the host tower of the RK. Correct. He's good. So just throw this out here. I mean you know, Barbarian but like you know it's...

[00:15:00] And you trust your source. I think it's worth following up on. If he is responsible in any way for what happened down here... Well we know he's responsible. Right. So what's he going to do on the surface?

[00:15:14] Would we be able to explain the fact that it was a diminution spell? Huh? It was the angel essentially casting this spell. No you guys wouldn't know. Okay. You guys wouldn't have any idea why he got this vision or anything like that. Or really that...

[00:15:32] You have seven days. Oh okay. I thought that was part of it. I didn't know that that was met... It is. It's a part of the spell. But you guys wouldn't know what the angel was actually giving you.

[00:15:44] I thought the angel actually said that to me so that's why I've been saying that. I did not realize it was a mechanic because yes I would not know that. We didn't realize we were metting the whole situation.

[00:15:53] No, I didn't think about it until you went along that line. But I do think that... Scrying would be an option. It is something that you could do, you could try. I don't know why you're looking at any of us. None of us can use that spell.

[00:16:07] No I can't either. Oh, I'm wondering if he... Well then why the fuck are you asking? He's bringing it up to the wizard that might be able to. No the wizard's in the middle of preparing a ritual. He's not doing it for you. So...

[00:16:20] Do you have the spell that he could copy into his spell book? Yes. Do you mind if we copy it in and see if we can get an eyes on him? No I don't mind. Cool. Work on that. How long does that take? Look at having the book.

[00:16:33] Yeah look up what level scrying is. I don't remember. Because I think it's a day per level. It's a really old Mudbane song. I think it's... Second? I'm not sure. Yay thought. I was talking about life. It's a fifth level div spell. Fifth level.

[00:16:57] So it's going to take you five days to copy it into your spell book. Can we verify that that's true? I know it takes some time. I don't know how long it is. I don't know if it's eight hours per level, but it is a time.

[00:17:10] It should be in the wizard section. Correct. Yeah you may want to because it's been a while since I've looked at it. I know it is a time frame and it is a significant time frame. I don't think it's as long as Jeff is saying.

[00:17:21] I still do think it's longer than what we would want to spend. Yeah I mean it could be. It's going to be a couple more pages farther. I just say it's going to be somewhere in that paragraph. It's just a spell book. You're talking about preparing a cast?

[00:17:38] It's copy. Copy. Let me find a wizard spell. A first level or higher you can add it to your spell book if it is a level for which you have a spell slot and if you can spare the time to decipher and copy it.

[00:17:49] Copying a spell into your spell book involves reproducing the basic form of the spell. Then decipher... Two hours. ...a unique system of note of motion used... For each level of the spell the process takes two hours and costs 50 GP. Okay so it's 10 hours.

[00:18:01] So it would take Lucas a day. You know half a day and it would cost 50 per level. Yep. So 250 gold. Yep. So Lucas would you like to be the proud owner of a Scrice? I would like that very much yes.

[00:18:15] Okay somebody write off 250 gold from the party pool and... So we're down 440-50 total? And then add Scry to your spell book. And then cast Scry. Viseran will warn you. You have no idea what you're getting into. No 100%. No I accept that.

[00:18:38] I don't know how we spy on and or steal from Gromp but ultimately that was something we're probably going to have to do anyway. Do you have another suggestion on how to get a spell book? Break in the sorcerer.

[00:18:52] But you think his spell book is at sorcerer and is not with him. It should be in his sanctum. I mean the vision that you guys got in Graven Hollow. You saw Gromp teleport away. Right. Without a book in his hands. Okay. You don't know. Right.

[00:19:11] But the assumption that Viseran is going on is that it is in his sanctum. Which I think is plausible too. But the hard part is that if it is with Gromp we have an immediacy of knowing that he's there and he's doing something. Right.

[00:19:26] No I understand what you're saying. So is it? I'm not saying that you're wrong or that it's bad thinking. So the question becomes do we... I am presenting the information that I have to present to you. So how dangerous is a wizard without his spell book?

[00:19:41] That is not necessarily his spell book. That is the grimoire that details the ritual that he used. Okay we've been saying spell book this whole time so... Yeah. Yes it is a book that contains a spell but it's a very particular spell.

[00:20:00] If we're going to get any information out of Gromp though there's no telling whether or not he might just bamf his way into another dimension. When wizards create these... What were they called in third edition? Epic level spells? Maybe.

[00:20:19] Once you pass 20th level as a wizard you can start writing your own spells to do whatever the hell you want. And that's the level that Gromp's at. This book would represent years worth of research to create this spell.

[00:20:35] It's not just his traveling spell book that he prepares each day. That means we shouldn't let the barbarian drive us into a fight with Gromp. No I mean a spell book would be with a wizard would be my assumption. That doesn't mean that it's right. Yeah.

[00:20:51] That's what I presume. The hard part is that in my opinion if it's not with Gromp... Yeah. And Gromp doesn't torture us for a thousand years. He could still go to Menzobren's An. Yeah.

[00:21:06] But if we need to find Gromp we know where he is at for a limited window of time. Or we could always go back to the angels and ask the question again. If we can do that scrying and discovering an archmage is probably incredibly difficult I would say.

[00:21:27] So I think Lugus is gonna blow his brains out by trying to scry on Gromp because that's what he tries to do. Well in all honesty me sending you into Sorcerer to break into Gromp's sanctum I don't even know if you'll be able to.

[00:21:45] We could ask for permission maybe he gives us a key. I mean there's no guarantee that Gromp's sanctum is on this plane. Correct. He could have cast this ritual from the Abyss. Or it could be his own little pocket dimension. Yeah. Whatever. So then what is our plan?

[00:22:06] Ask him nicely? We could try it. Like I think ultimately my question is because Jeff didn't give us that little tidbit. I kind of assumed it but he's literally building a giant magical tower. Why is he doing that? This is one of the most...

[00:22:22] I don't know the implications. Well right I don't think we do have any. At the beginning of this game back when you were playing Malveas you were approached by an agent of the Arcane Brotherhood. That's right. They're still around.

[00:22:35] They don't have a host tower anymore or they didn't. But they are still around and they are a part of all this. It's like the Pinkerton's. They're still around. So what do we know about this Arcane Brotherhood? The Arcane Brotherhood was...

[00:22:51] I mean he rolled high enough on his history and everything like that. Yeah, of course. Troy has read all those Drizzle books. He knows everything about Forgotten Realms. Fo sho. Drizzle for shizzle. Drizzle Dyrden. If there is a... The Other of Tyler.

[00:23:11] If there's a movie quote to go along with the City of Luskin. I've never known such a hive of scum and villainy or whatever it is. It's run by pirates. At least it used to be.

[00:23:27] Back 100 years ago, the host tower of the Arcane was on its own little island in Luskin. And they were... The Arcane Brotherhood was kind of the power behind the throne. There were five captains. They were the governing council of the city.

[00:23:47] They didn't get anything done without the approval of the Arcane Brotherhood. About 100 years ago, somebody tried to step in and clean up Luskin. And the lich who was running the Arcane Brotherhood said if I can't have it, nobody can.

[00:24:06] And destroyed the tower and itself in the process of breaking a staff of power. And wrecked a good part of the city. Luskin is a shell of what it once was. Any other questions about Luskin that I can try and pick out of my head?

[00:24:26] I was gonna see if there... I didn't know if this book had any geography. I've only pulled a few things in this book. I believe it. I believe Luskin is in there. I didn't know if you cared if I looked it up or passed it or anything.

[00:24:37] No, you guys got a net 20 on the... History roll. History roll. If you want to... You can just read what's in there on it. I don't care. I gotta find it first. Because that may actually have more time period relevant information than I have. Little holes in here.

[00:24:59] Anything crazy I missed? I just essentially asked what the Arcane Brotherhood was. Water deep. Silver and beer bar never went there long so... Is that picking up? Boulder's Deaut. I'm just rambling. I'm not talking about you. I'm talking about the machine. You should be. You really don't.

[00:25:16] You put the headphones on and you're gonna be alive. I don't know how you can use for like a pen. Is Luskin text... it is on the Sirkost, right? Yes. Luskin is not in the appendix. Okay. It's L-U-S-K-A-N, right? Correct. That's weird.

[00:25:31] Man, I'm kind of shocked. I'm flipping through here. Why am I not seeing anything about Luskin? I could have sworn I looked it up in there. Really? Again? Again. Because I'm not even seeing it. It's very high north. I never realized it was that far fucking north.

[00:25:47] It's not far fucking north compared to the neverwinter? Yeah, because it was... Back in the early Salvatore books, it was the first place that Wolfgar left or went to after he left Ten Towns. Fucking Wolfgar. Fucking Wolfgar. That's the city where he turned into a drunk.

[00:26:07] Because it would be in Chapter 2, the sword coast in the north, I would imagine, right? Yeah. And Phil... I didn't have to leave the city for that. Bouldersgate, Daggerford, Longsaddle, I would expect them to be right here, right? Mirror Bar, Neverwinter, it's in Alphabetical Order. Yeah.

[00:26:24] It goes from Longsaddle to Mirror Bar, Neverwinter. Unless it's Waterdeep. Yartar, then it goes to Dwarf Holds. It's not going to be in Dwarf Holds. Thunder Bar, Thorne Holds. It's not an island kingdom. Nope. The third ed. Forgotten Ramos Book was like white.

[00:26:42] Correct. All the Forgotten Ramos books were. Yeah, and I never... I never owned it. Everybody else always had this book. Well, I was trying to help. No luck. It's also known as the City of Sails. Correct. Because it's pirate. You might be careful reading in that because...

[00:26:57] Yeah, don't go too deep into that. Because it's just the wiki. Yes, I know. Right. I was trying to figure out where it was. He already showed us a map of where it was. Yeah, there's a map in the chat.

[00:27:11] Because what I'm saying is that if Grumpf in this book is in this place, then that means there's literature backing it, which means in the wiki, it would say, Grumpf is building this tower to summon demons to the material plane

[00:27:25] who has stopped by dritz and Cadabre and fucking, you know, Jarlaxle, I don't fucking know. Elminster shows up for cameo. Who's Jarlaxle? It's another character I don't think we've ever actually explained in this game. Oh, because it's not familiar. Jarlaxle is a...

[00:27:46] a drought character from the Forgotten Realms books. He runs around with dritz and some of the others. Just like fucking Artemis and fucking... he said Wolfgar and Brunor and I forget the... You guys actually would have met Brunor...

[00:28:03] you met Brunor, you would have met Wolfgar and Cadabre at the feast thing. I remember it. No, I mean your interlude thing had Cadabre in it. I knew Cadabre was in it. She forged his weapon for it. Because then Wolfgar died. Wolfgar... I mean they all died.

[00:28:21] Yeah, I know. This version of them are reincarnated versions. Correct. I remember because I did it. But didn't Wolfgar die first? Wolfgar... everybody thought he was dead but he was actually pulled into the abyss. That's probably about... And he was held prisoner there for years.

[00:28:36] That's probably the last set of dritz novels I read. Anyway, so yeah. Ultimately that's just... that's Cody's vote and that's also by extension my character's vote. I just think that if we need to nail down Gromp maybe we do, maybe we don't.

[00:28:54] We know what he's doing and he's clearly building a magic tower on the material. On the material. Plane. Maybe he's trying to make this happen on the surface rail. Maybe he's trying to stop it. I don't know.

[00:29:06] But there's really no logical reason unless our wizard friend here can tell me why an archmage of the Drow... Why would a Drow Archmage who is in charge of Sorcerer and has all this power at his command,

[00:29:19] why the fuck is he on the surface building a magic tower? Well we know that he fled. Correct. But that's as far as we know. Right, that's what I'm saying.

[00:29:30] I think that knowing what the fuck he's doing as a major player in this is not a bad thing. That's just my two cents. I will open it up to the rest of the party for their input. You gonna scry? Am I allowed to use it immediately?

[00:29:41] Don't I have to wait a day to prep it? I don't think I can use it immediately. I just put it in the book. You would take ten hours during the day and then overnight you would prepare spells in the morning. It's a wisdom saving through.

[00:29:52] Let me actually... Seriously, it's probably fine. Let me actually read the spell. You should probably read the spell. I'll read the card. It's a wisdom saving through. If it fails, or if he succeeds, the throw nothing happens. It's not like he knows that I'm scrying on him.

[00:30:07] You wanna read it again? The creature you choose that is on the same plane of existence as you, the target must make a wisdom saving through which is modified by how well you know the target. Whatever that means. And the sort of physical connection you have to it.

[00:30:22] I just like the best wizard ever. What's the modify? I don't know how it's modified. It's supposed to be how it's modified. Yes, it does. It does in the book. There's a table. Oh, okay. You should read the target.

[00:30:33] If it's hard to get nose, you're casting the spell. It can fail the saving through a volunteer. If you know this person through secondhand knowledge, like you've never met him or anything like that, he gets a plus five to the save. Okay. He can't fail it.

[00:30:51] He's a wizard. Harry. No, like I just like the idea that like I want that clip right there. Someone needs to save and send to me in a couple months because I've now decided,

[00:31:04] Lucas, you're going in one of my next short stories because I want a wizard that's like, ah blah blah blah book of the dead yada yada yada clava nick-to blah blah blah and like fucking things are resurrecting all over because you're just not fucking pay attention.

[00:31:19] Ah, you probably don't need this bit. No. It's really the Cecil of Wizards. No, because Cecil did clever things. Did he? Yeah, I think so. He was a witty piece of shit. The problem is you're a wizard with no wit. That's the whole point of what he's saying.

[00:31:35] Ooh, I like that line too. Write me that line too. Wizard without wit. You get absolutely nothing. Like the fucking Mr. Magoo of Wizards. Mr. Bean of Wizards. Did you even roll? No, because Mr. Bean is an asshole on purpose. Mr. Magoo is just...

[00:31:53] No, he's because he's probably got a 15 in wisdom at least. He could roll a one. He could roll a one. He could roll a one. He could. But he didn't roll. You get absolutely nothing. Because he's an archmage. He'd probably be defended against Skry. I don't know.

[00:32:07] I like that could be. Can you Skry a location? Yeah. How about you Skry a plant in Luskin? Does it say it has to be a creature? I'm going to grab the thing again. I'll just remind myself to add lawyer in here.

[00:32:25] It does say you can see and hear a particular creature you choose. It does not specify. Unless it's different in the book, that's what's on the card. I'm getting there. Because I don't know that a tree can make a wisdom saving throw. Can. Not well. An ant.

[00:32:42] Instead of targeting a creature, you can choose a location you have seen before as the target of this spell. Yeah. The card does not have all the info on it. That would be the very last paragraph.

[00:32:57] That's why the bottom of the card says please see page blah blah blah. Profit and information. So then I could do that. Have you ever been to Luskin? I was just waiting on that. Percentile roll or luck roll? What do you want me to do?

[00:33:11] I think you're a wizard. The host tower is like a historical site. I'll give you a 25% chance. I've been there. You just said it was a historical place. Yeah, that doesn't mean you're going to travel halfway across the world. 25%. 2%. 31. I can't believe you could do that math.

[00:33:32] It's a 75. That's a no. That's a remainder of the 25. You hit 25 high, you're good. Never been that. Nope. Neither has Viseran. I've seen it. Can you Vulcan mind meld with me? It's in your spell book. You can cast the spell if you want.

[00:33:54] No, I can't wait for that. All right. Well, I guess it depends on what you guys want to do. We have no information. He can't help us. We could piss off to Gontalgrim at the drop of a hat.

[00:34:12] We go speak to Bruner, see if he has any ideas, and maybe from there we can get to Luskin. I mean, shit, somebody may be able to teleport us there. Bruner will probably be... At the very least we can fly at 600 feet every six seconds.

[00:34:27] Yeah, you can get there in... That's what? A little under two hours. Yeah. For some reason I thought it was farther. It's about 100 miles from Gontalgrim. I guess we are traveling very quickly, aren't we? Yes. Yeah, we're literally traveling a mile a minute. A little over. Yeah.

[00:34:45] Do you... Damn. Yeah, it's pretty quick. We can fly there. See, he's not there. Fly back, hang out for a bit. Fly back can still be good because it's an eight hour spell. Do you know of a teleportation circle in Gontalgrim? Does Viseran know? No, he wouldn't know.

[00:35:01] I don't know this guy may know shit. I mean, again, with the tree stuff, the travel really doesn't matter. If we're on a time limit, we need to get somewhere quick. Right, but we can pop over to Gontalgrim right now and ask them. We can? Yeah. Oh.

[00:35:16] Yeah, because the whole point of my character at the beginning was that I was studying the fungus. How many six level spells do you have? Two, I believe. Okay. Either way it's one, rest, and then go again. Yeah, you've had a day waiting for him.

[00:35:31] And then the rest for the eight hours that he's learning the spell. I make some beautiful breakfast for Tatas. In fairness, I am out a fifth level slot right now. I'm going to cast it in gray. Yep. What other spells did you prepare for the day, Lucas?

[00:35:46] Actually, no, you won't look at them. I just wondered if you're preparing enough. I put Desanibri back in there. I didn't use iBite. You didn't use a lot in the last fight because you're paralyzed. I could not do shit. I literally sat here for two hours. Roll better.

[00:36:07] Couldn't do shit after you could do shit. That's interesting. I'm surprised that scrying is not a ritual spell. Yeah, and look at that. As long as it takes, it's a ten minute spell cast. It's surprising it's not a ritual.

[00:36:19] So do we want to go to Gontalgrim and investigate this some more? I mean if we are going to Luskin, either way we're not going there directly from here. Correct. So Gontalgrim's the closest location I believe that we have that I can travel us to regardless.

[00:36:34] So if we got to go over land and fly in a gaseous form, we're leaving from there no matter what. Okay. Are we good with that? We not doing that? Sounds good. Okay. You have the sending stone I gave you. Let me know what you find.

[00:36:49] I am very interested. Presuming we're not dead or worse. Presuming. Good luck with your ritual. I've already died once. That's a fair point. Your wizard gave no reaction to the fact that it's the exact same person in a metal man's body. I feel like that would be...

[00:37:10] Well it doesn't look like the same person. Sounds like the same person though. Yeah, that is true. What the fuck happened to you? They rebuilt me. They have the technology. You now need to find the choo-choo-choo-choo-choo noise and use that anytime he takes a physical action.

[00:37:34] The truck door jumps on a table. Let me find the bionic man. Soundboard. Gontagrim then it sounds like. Yeah, sounds like you teleport right back to Gontagrim. If he is there are you able to quickly join us by any means? Not quickly, no. I've never been there.

[00:37:57] It would be a difficult teleportation. What if we planted a tree? If you could find me a circle and give me the symbols. Maybe the chevrons. Yeah. Fact. Then I could. There's a chance that there's obviously a circle that wasn't destroyed. No, I mean like...

[00:38:17] There's a high probability of it. There are probably like... I don't know what to say. Forgotten Realms is a developed like world. Like in most major cities there's likely a teleportation circle of some kind. Whether it's personal, private, public... There's almost certainly teleportation circles.

[00:38:36] At the very least I can send to him. Oh god, chevrons! Move, move, move, move, move. Would a pirate town necessarily have one? I think one town that used to have the army- I understand there might be one in the towers or of swords but...

[00:38:54] It is a popular port city. Like it's not... Not anymore. It was. The stuff I read said that it's like a quarter of the population that it used to be. Well, but... Most of the shipping has stopped. Like the city is split between a river.

[00:39:15] A river goes directly through the middle of it and there's a... The North Bank and the South Bank. The North Bank was mostly all dwarven warehouses. And they're all abandoned now. Interesting. Gonthogrim? Gonthogrim.

[00:39:31] I will take charge, begin screaming into our van about how I would like to speak to Bruno and just start marching my way there because that's what I do. Well... We'll get there. I know.

[00:39:41] Something tells me that if you'd like to do something this would be an opportune time for you to change the narrative. Yes. But that's my goal. If there's nothing preventing me that I can't stab. Okay, first I gotta pee. Jeff? Yeah.

[00:39:55] Did that Jarlaxle name have been come up before sometime? Ah, yes. I'm sure it has. Good. The brother in the shit out of me. Yes, I'm sure that the name Jarlaxle has come up at some point but I don't remember in what context.

[00:40:17] I mean especially with him being a drow I think... I mean... But... I just don't know. If I have a note on it anywhere. But... Someone who is not a drow I don't think would have a good frame of reference for who he is.

[00:40:30] You know what I think it was? Well... And it could be that I'm just thinking of it because of this. But... In the interlude timeframe... In session zero... Grady was asking if a drow was in the audience. And I think you said Jarlaxle when he...

[00:40:49] And then corrected yourself for the... Oh, what was this guy? I don't remember his name. He's a drow who's more of a... Mercenary. Who's always frilly. That's Jarlaxle. Oh. But wasn't there another... Big hat, big feather. Okay maybe that's what it was. Sounds like a fancy pants.

[00:41:13] Yeah, then maybe it was. Maybe it was Jarlaxle then. I was thinking of another character from the drist And maybe I just haven't read enough of dritz to see a turn from Jarlaxle. But it was the character who was like the mercenary who helped kill... Who helped...

[00:41:34] It was like an assassin inside of the drow. Who operated kind of outside of the... The matron stuff. So this is, it's all the same guy. I'm not sure... I'm not sure that I can say yes to the assassin part.

[00:41:48] But he does run an operation outside the matriarchy, yes. Okay. He is a tool of the matriarchy but he is outside the matriarchy. Gotcha. So it could still be the same guy. Because I'm just thinking of like the first trilogy as well.

[00:42:02] Or the origin of drist and leaving Minza Brand's end. I don't know that Jarlaxle showed up in that. For some reason I wanted to say the name started with K. Zekniphine? That doesn't sound right. Could just be I read it wrong. I don't know.

[00:42:19] Because I know we brought up Zekniphine because of the ritual that was done in Movaeus. It was the same one that was done to Zekniphine. Which is Dritz's father. No, that I... Yeah, that's not the character that I'm thinking. Which is where you're essentially a puppet. Yeah.

[00:42:37] I can't even remember the name of the ritual now. No. But Jarlaxle now is being cemented more and more. That's the character that I'm thinking of. It wouldn't surprise me if I mentioned during session zero. But that character was not a friend to Dritz.

[00:42:54] Where I'm at at this point. If I remember correctly. In the... In the series? Yeah, in the origin story. I only read like the first three books. Yeah. No, Jarlaxle becomes a much more fleshed out character way later in the series. Okay.

[00:43:10] So I wouldn't imagine somebody who's even tangentially involved with the matriarcher to be friendly with. And that's why I think I was confused. Because I was thinking of this character that I'm thinking of as Jarlaxle. When you describe...

[00:43:22] When Jarlaxle was described as being a friend type character to Dritz. When you were talking about him and out of the abyss. So I had this dichotomy in my head. It's like these two characters aren't the same characters.

[00:43:34] Because I have not far enough along in the Dritz story for him to be a more fleshed out character. If you look at what's it called? Dragon Heist? One of the modules that came out. Jarlaxle is pictured on the front of it.

[00:43:51] He's one of the main characters in that. Gotcha. So then that would definitely make more sense, Troy, as to why that name might stick out to you. Jeff's drawing. I did not think we were going to be doing any fighting, but apparently we are.

[00:44:08] We're not doing much else. You're doing a lot of discussing, which is not a bad thing. Alright, Jeff, what's going on? Okay, so you guys... You cast your spell, you walk through the mushroom and you emerge into the fungal grove.

[00:44:24] Where you first met Kira in the lower levels of Gauntelgrim right outside what becomes the Underdark. As you emerge, you notice that the grove is empty, but you hear running footsteps going down the tunnel that leads towards the gate to Gauntelgrim. Gotcha. And probably raised voices.

[00:44:50] Roll for initiative. Alright, didn't expect that. Wow, we didn't see shit. Turn around and go back. Didn't expect to need my character sheet, Jeff. And you're going to need to give me a minute because I have several different initiatives. Fun.

[00:45:09] Does your initiative bonus go up with proficiency or no? No. It's just your decks. The only thing would be a feat. Gotcha. Lightning reflexes, is that in this game? I don't remember. Alert. I have tactical width, which... That's part of your wizard subtype. Yeah.

[00:45:28] I think it's called alert. Gives you like a plus five. Lightning reflexes, I feel like. Thank you, I read it. There are several that give you bonuses. Lightning reflexes, I think gives you a bonus to your deck saves. I'm sure there's an extra.

[00:45:41] I think it's a deck saving. If you were a heragon, you could add your... Was it intelligence? I think we would add to it. To your deck tier. Heragons are really cool little creature to play. Yeah. I wouldn't mind trying one next night until I die.

[00:45:55] Which might be today. Your build was pretty cool, the samurai build. Lucas, if you would like to be a better wizard... I just moved it. My suggestion is that anytime you're not actively doing anything, you should be looking at your spell books planning your next thing. Well, yeah.

[00:46:17] Like reading them. As long as there's no more distractions, it'll be fine. Fireball! Fireball! It's really all you need. You know who plays like that, right? Fadre. Yeah, I know. He also used to say he used to roll the dice over everything.

[00:46:30] Oh yeah, no, no, because he had the big fuck... Like right now, Jeff would have this all set up and he had... He had like the giant novelty d20 I have. He had d6's like that. So when he would cast Fireball, he would just like...

[00:46:43] Throw stones worth of dice across. The other thing to do is Fadre's 27. Which partially we would get because the kid can't see shit and like I have trouble seeing the dice sometimes so I get it but... 25. Alright, fudge. Whatever makes you happy.

[00:47:04] I'll find a way to DM kill you later. Troy. Was that roll again? 16. Lucas. 22. Shredder. 12. Grady. A gentleman's completely normal and not undersized 5. Four, Jeff, huh? Somebody said... We had that? We clipped that? I never had any complaints. No, he said it was completely normal and not undersized.

[00:47:39] I assumed that he was gonna say something smaller. Why would you assume that? Why would you assume that, Jeff? I thought it was a plus one. I thought it was a four and I looked over it's actually technically a five so...

[00:47:49] As I'm flipping through my spell work I thought it's a great boner at his bonfire. Worst wizard ever. Create boner. It's a great spell. I cast Blue Chew. Lucas, you're just writing a lovely character for me to include in my fantasy stuff. I can't wait.

[00:48:10] You can DM after me too. Spell is different. Spell is like fantasy. L, U, K, I, S or something. Something weird. No, A, S, S. That's actually correct. L, U, L, U, K, E, space A, S, S. Lucas. It has hyphenated somewhere. It's gotta be hyphenated.

[00:48:28] I'm the ass man. Put an oom l out in there. Sackle. Because I've been trying to... I've been writing some stuff and I like... I haven't done a wizard yet. And I was like, oh that's... I just like the neurotic, bumbling Mr. Magoo concept of wizard. Okay.

[00:48:45] Hold on a second. Sackle, not... Yeah. Yeah, I know what you're trying to do. You need to write it out. Yeah. Nasser... Oh, trying to do that. Nasser tap. Sackle, Nasser tap. Yeah, the... No, just fucking come up.

[00:49:03] The old Kappa SIG pledge names where you just take a dirty word and spell it backwards and that's your pledge name. So are these the ones that you're trying to do? Yeah, they're the ones that I'm trying to do. Yeah, they're the ones that I'm trying to do.

[00:49:13] So you just take a dirty word and spell it backwards and that's your pledge name. So are these lion's cuff? Yeah, as we can't see through or something. Yes, this is... Speaking of... Yeah. This is the exit from the grove into the tunnel. What's your pledge name? Tina.

[00:49:26] The gates into Gontal Grammar down this way. Gotcha. That way leads down to the underdark. Okay. You're up, Lucas. Okay. Move me... How many... How many was that? 25 or 33? No. Okay, I'll move you into the entryway. Oh, you son of a bitch. I'll glue it back together later.

[00:49:50] Just move the base. Six, that's 30. Just lay him down and move the base. It's fine. To everyone else... Can I please snap the... So my mind's made out of metal. One, two, three, snap! If that's not an omen... Is that 30 feet? That's 30 feet. Okay. What about...

[00:50:13] I'm really sorry, Lucas. Your feet made of 30 feet. I can't elaborate. No, it's not even his feet. It's invisibility. It's just the wind. It's invisibility. You can't see him. Yeah. And like, of them, Lucas actually painted his. Like, it looked really nice. I'll glue it back together.

[00:50:28] Up until the point where Jeff... Well, I fucked it up. I may have to make a new character. God, it had made such a great sound. I hope they get picked up on the mics. This is happening. I love how we got quiet enough to hear it.

[00:50:39] Can I see this group of shit? You can see a group of dwarves running this way. You can see more dwarves down here, like in a shield wall yelling, Run! And you see demons. Can I see the group of demons? You see demons coming from the other direction.

[00:50:55] You see several different kinds of demons. That's cool. What? Do wizard shit! I feel like... Reading the spell! I feel like we were just talking about this. Our title track, Elders, is provided by Sleep for the Weary off their debut album, Knock Turns.

[00:51:22] Learn more about the band at sleepfortheweary.com Want to continue the conversation? Find us on Facebook at fans of the Rancor's Brothel or on Twitter at rancor's underscore brothel. Need more actual play episodes? Find over a thousand individual episodes at our website, Rancor's Brothel. Thank you for listening.

[00:51:47] Much love, and keep circulating the tapes. You live through me.